Complications
by theoofoof
Summary: An AU story. 36 year old Head of Section D, Harry Pearce has asked his analyst, Ruth Evershed to dinner but, due to a security incident, she's not been able to give him an answer. When she goes to his house to accept, a surprise is waiting for her.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Complications  
**Fandom: **Spooks  
**Characters/Pairings: **Harry/Ruth  
**Rating: **K+**  
Warnings:** None

**Summary:** An AU story. 36 year old Head of Section D, Harry Pearce has asked his analyst, Ruth Evershed to dinner but, due to a security incident, she's not been able to give him an answer. When she goes to his house to accept, a surprise is waiting for her. How will she handle what she finds?

Disclaimer: I don't own Spooks or any of the characters or dialogue you may recognise. They all belong to Kudos/BBC.

**A/N:** Welcome to my new fic. It's an AU story and for it to work, I've had to make a few changes to the canon timeline. So for this fic, I'm knocking 8 years off Harry's age – having him born in 1961 rather than 1953 and I'm saying that Ruth joined Section D, 6 years earlier than canon – in 1997. So to summarise, when this fic starts in October 1998, Harry is 36 (very nearly 37) and Ruth is 28.

Hope all that makes sense! If not, it should after the first couple of chapters. If it still doesn't, feel free to let me know and ask any questions you have. You may recognise some dialogue from the original series in here too; I may have borrowed some!

* * *

Chapter 1

_Friday 23__rd__ October 1998_

When Ruth Evershed had been seconded to MI-5 just over twelve months ago she expected to find a job she loved and new friends. She got them of course; the work was far more challenging and rewarding than the work she'd been doing at GCHQ and the team had become like her family. What Ruth hadn't expected was to fall for her boss. She knew Harry Pearce by reputation alone before she started in his section and had been thrilled that she would be working with him; he was a legend. At 36, he was one of the youngest section heads in the history of MI-5. Recruited in 1985, straight from the army, as a Junior Field Office for Section D, he'd risen quickly through the ranks; he was a Senior Intelligence Officer within 3 years. In February 1991 he earned his second promotion to Section Chief after saving the life of the then Prime Minister, John Major. Within 3 and a half years of that he was Section Head.

They had worked well together from the start, despite Harry's frequent tetchiness and fits of pique. As the months went on they grew closer; Harry began to trust her more and soften towards her. After she'd been there six months she counted Harry as her closest friend at work, and she was quite sure he felt the same. It wasn't until he had been shot by Tom Quinn back in April that Ruth had realised that what she felt for him went beyond the boundaries of friendship.

There had been no doubt in her mind that her feelings wouldn't be reciprocated. After all what would Harry, see in a shy, bookish woman such as herself? So, she'd resigned herself to the fact that her feelings would remain unrequited and she'd kept them to herself, locked away inside. And she'd been coping fine with that. Until yesterday, when Harry had decided to move the goal posts.

Yesterday morning on the rooftop, in the middle of a discussion about thermobaric bombs and whether or not she was naïve, he'd asked her out.

_"Would you like to have dinner one night?"_

_"I'm sorry?" she'd replied, unsure of whether she'd heard him correctly_

_"Dinner. That is if you'd like to of course."_

_"That's…that's quite a conversation shift."_

_"Well, onto a rather happier topic than weapons of mass destruction. Or your naïveté."_

_Ruth had to suppress a little smile at his teasing. "I'm not naïve."_

_"I've booked a table. It's a place I think you'd like."_

_"That's very presumptuous of you. I might have said no." She'd tried to appear as calm and as nonplussed as possible, despite jumping for joy inside. She knew there was no way she was going to say no, but she didn't want to seem too eager. He was her boss after all._

_"Well, I'll go anyway," he'd told her. "Be like the Charlie Chaplin character waiting for the girl and making the bread rolls dance. What film was that?"_

_"Gold Rush."_

_"Ah yes."_

Ruth had opened her mouth to answer him, to tell him that he wouldn't have to go alone, that she'd love to have dinner with him, when the door to the roof had swung open and Adam had appeared. He had come to inform them that there had been an assassination attempt on the Prime Minister. The moment between Ruth and Harry had been broken and they'd rushed back to the Grid to deal with the fall out and as a result, Harry had never got his answer.

Ruth had intended to find him once the furore had died down and tell him that should his offer still stand she would love to go out to dinner. But then Adam had approached her apologising for interrupting them on the rooftop and Ruth had realised that she and Harry were the subject of office gossip. The team assumed they were having an affair. Ruth was completely mortified and, after setting Adam straight, had gone home as soon as the perpetrators had been caught and her report completed, allowing her to avoid Harry completely.

She'd sat at home all last night and this morning analysing herself and Harry and the possibilities of them pursuing a romantic relationship. Finally, she'd come to the conclusion that people would probably talk about them whether they were seeing each other or not, and that she wasn't going to put the value of their opinions above that of her own feelings. Having reached that decision, she knew that she had to give Harry her answer, and sooner rather than later.

Which is why she is standing on his doorstep on this late October evening. Now she's here however, she is beginning to have second thoughts. After several minutes spent going over things again in her mind, she decides that the worst that can happen is he can tell her he's changed his mind, so finally she plucks up the courage to knock on the door. She hears the soft barking of a dog and then footfalls on the floor. Harry's silhouette appears in the small frosted window and a couple of moments later he opens the door.

"Ruth? Hi!" he greets the surprise obvious on his face. He is still wearing his work clothes but he's shed the jacket and tie, unfastened the top 3 buttons and rolled up his sleeves. He looks a little dishevelled but it's a look that almost takes Ruth's breath away.

"Hi," she replies, trying to remember to breathe.

"This is a surprise!" he remarks, as he looks back into the house, anxiously and pulls the door closed slightly, obscuring Ruth's view into the house.

"Yes, I suppose it is. You see, I was sat at home thinking about yesterday and I realised that…" Ruth trails off as noises from inside the house permeate her consciousness and she realises Harry has company. "You're not alone are you?"

"No I'm not," he admits, an apologetic look on his face.

"Oh God! Sorry! I should have called. I didn't even think-"

Ruth is shocked into silence by the appearance of a little girl in the gap between the door and the frame asking, "Who is it Daddy?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Wow! 17 reviews for the first chapter – I think that's a personal best. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing; it really does mean a lot. I just hope this story lives up to expectation now!

I should include a reference to the film, 'The Holiday' as this fic was partially inspired by that and there may be a little bit of dialogue in the following few chapters that you may recognise from there.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_Previously…_

_Ruth is shocked into silence by the appearance of a little girl in the gap between the door and the frame asking, "Who is it Daddy?"_

Ruth, taken aback by the fact that Harry apparently has a child, manages to stutter a weak, "H-hello."

Harry is also surprised at the turn of events and unwillingly loosens his grip on the door allowing the little girl to step further out into the doorway. Harry puts his hands on the little girl's shoulders as he introduces her. "Ruth, this is my daughter, Catherine. Catey, this is my friend Ruth." His eyes are silently pleading with Ruth not to make a fuss; not in front of his daughter, and for her to just try and accept this.

Catherine looks up at Ruth and smiles, "Hello. How do you do?"

"I'm…fine thank you. How are you?"

"Very well thank you," she replies politely. "Are you coming in?"

"Oh, erm…I don't know. I wouldn't want to intrude. I mean..." Ruth trails off as another pair of feet come running down the hall and a little boy appears at the door, clutching a light blue teddy bear. Harry doesn't just have a child, he has children; plural.

"Hiya!" he greets enthusiastically. Harry, looking a little sheepish, bends down and scoops the little boy up. "Daddy, who tha?" he asks, pointing at Ruth.

Balancing the little boy on his hip, Harry smiles at him. "This is Ruth. And Ruth this is my son, Graham."

"Oh right," replies Ruth, still unsure of exactly what to say. She decides it's probably best if she leaves and composes herself before speaking to Harry, so moves to leave. "Look, I am so sorry for just turning up unannounced, I'll go. I'll see you at work on Monday, Harry." She turns and begins to walk down the path.

"Daaaad!" she hears Catherine prompt, quickly followed by Harry's voice calling her back.

"Ruth, it's okay. Honestly. Why don't you come in?"

"Yes, please come in," agrees Catherine.

Ruth is unsure but Catherine looks so excited at the prospect that she can't find it in her heart to refuse. "Okay," she nods. Harry, who looks exceptionally relieved that she has agreed, moves back to let her in. She steps into the hallway and surreptitiously looks around for the children's mother but there don't appear to be any signs that she is there. There is however a small Jack Russell, who wags her tail excitedly when she sees Ruth. Ruth crouches down to pet the animal as Harry relocks the front door.

"Daddy, can we still have hot chocolate?" Catherine asks.

"Yes."

"I have milk?" pipes up Graham.

"Of course."

Harry puts Graham down and the two children look expectantly at Ruth as she fiddles with the top button of her coat.

"Dad," Catherine prompts again. "Take her coat."

"Oh right. Yes. May I?"

Ruth removes her coat and hands it to Harry. "Thank you."

"Catherine," instructs Harry as he hangs Ruth's coat over the bannister, "take your brother into the kitchen but don't touch anything; Ruth and I will be through in a moment."

"Okay, Daddy. Come on Graham."

Ruth watches as Catherine heads off down the hallway Graham toddling behind. Once they are out of earshot Harry turns to her. "I'm sorry I didn't mention this earlier."

"There's no need to apologise. I'm just your analyst. Why should you tell me you're a father?" Her tone is flippant; she obviously hurt by his omission.

"There's every need. You're more than just my analyst Ruth, you're…" he hesitates for a moment; unsure how to describe their relationship. He finally settles on, "my friend too. I should have told you."

"So…you're married?" she hisses at him.

"No!" He's hurt that she would think that, especially after he had asked her to dinner.

"Divorced?"

"No."

"Widowed then?"

"No."

"Then what Harry? Please tell me, because I am really, really struggling to understand this." Ruth is quickly becoming impatient with Harry's reluctance to explain.

"Separated," Harry replies after a few moments, the hurt evident in his voice. "Well, abandoned would probably be a better way to describe it actually. My wife walked out on me and the children just over eighteen months ago."

Ruth gasps and feels slightly guilty for her brusqueness. "I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm not. Well not for me; our marriage was on the rocks anyway. But it's been hard for them," Harry indicates to the kitchen. "Catherine especially; she was five when Jane left; so old enough to miss her Mum but not old enough to understand. Graham was barely a year old, so I don't think he even remembers her. I wonder if she had post-natal depression but we might never know."

"Do you know where she is?"

"With the resources available on the Grid I managed to locate her. I tried to convince her to come home but she didn't want to know. I haven't contacted her since, although I have kept tabs on her whereabouts. She's in Scotland at the moment; I believe she's living with a man called Robin."

Ruth doesn't know what to say and is saved from having to reply by a shout of "Graham; no!" from the kitchen followed by a huge clatter which sets Graham off crying. Harry rushes into the kitchen, Ruth hot on his heels, to find a cupboard wide open, Graham sat on the floor surrounded by several pots and pans on the floor, and both Catherine and Graham in tears.

"I'm sorry Daddy!" cries Catherine. "I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen and…" Harry approaches her and gathers her into a hug to comfort her.

"Ssh, it's okay Catey. I'm not mad," he assures. "Don't worry; don't cry."

While Harry is comforting Catherine, Graham is still crying. Ruth quickly assess the situation; he doesn't appear to be hurt, so she surmises that the loud noise from the pans falling and Catherine shouting at him has merely startled him. So she kneels down next to him, and hands him the teddy bear he'd been holding earlier. "Here you go sweetheart."

Graham takes the bear and quietens a little. He shuffles over to Ruth and holds his arms out. "Up!" he demands.

Ruth glances at Harry to check its okay and he nods his permission so Ruth picks Graham up and sits with him on one of the dining room chairs. He's wraps his arms around Ruth's neck and snuggles into her. Catherine joins them at the table moments later, wiping the residual tears from her eyes, and Ruth engages her in conversation as Harry clears away the pots and pans.

When he's finished he turns to her and asks, "Ruth do you, by any chance, like hot chocolate?"

* * *

**A/N:** Please leave another review and let me know what you think. I promise more explanations to come in the following chapters but I envisage it being at least Saturday before it will be posted due to moving house this week. So please bear with me.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Wow! 19 reviews for chapter to. I'm completely overwhelmed! Thanks so much to those who took the time to review. (Is it too cheeky to ask for another after you've read this chapter?!)

For those of you who wished me luck for the move - it went well and I'm settling in nicely. Had an incident with a spider on my first night, but apart from that it's great. Thanks for the wishes and enjoy chapter 3!**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"We were going to watch a film," Catherine announces after she finishes her hot chocolate. "Would you like to stay and watch with us?"

"Catey," warns Harry gently, "Ruth might have plans."

"Do you have plans?" she asks Ruth. Harry rolls his eyes and throws Ruth an apologetic glance.

"No, no plans. I'd like to stay…if that's alright?" She's checking with Harry; she doesn't want to outstay her welcome. After her behaviour earlier, he might not want her here.

"It's more than fine."

So they decamp to the living room and Harry and Ruth sit on the sofa, Graham on Harry's knee as Catherine chooses what they will watch.

"Ten to one, she chooses 'The Lion King'," whispers Harry. She does of course, causing Harry and Ruth to share a smile.

Catherine squeezes herself into the small gap between Ruth and the arm of the sofa, snuggling into her as she presses play on the remote control. For the first half of the film, Catherine gives Ruth a running commentary, only stopping to sing along to the songs. Graham joins in with some of the songs too, as well as he can do for his age. Ruth particularly enjoys his rendition of 'I Just Can't Wait to be King'; his enthusiasm is unbounding. Just before half way point Graham falls fast asleep on Harry so he excuses himself and takes his son up to bed. When he returns fifteen minutes later, Catherine is struggling to keep her eyes open.

Harry presses the pause button, at which Catherine emits a sleepy groan. "Daaaaaad!"

"Time for bed young lady."

"But the film's not finished."

"You can watch the rest in the morning. You're falling asleep on poor Ruth!"

"Ruth doesn't mind, do you?" Catherine asks, stifling a yawn.

"I don't, but I think your Dad is right. You'll enjoy the rest of the film much more when you're fully awake."

Reluctantly Catherine agrees to go to bed and begins to doze off as soon as Harry picks her up. "I won't be long. Will you wait so we can talk?"

"Yeh. I'd quite like to see how the film ends anyway," she admits, slightly embarrassed at how engrossed she's become in a children's film. "I'll finish this while you put her to bed."

* * *

Catherine wakes as he puts her down and insists on a story, so when Harry finally returns to the living room the film is finished and Ruth is channel hopping, Scarlett sitting at her feet. Harry marvels at how right she looks sat in his house, on his sofa. He wishes she was there all the time. He knows however, that he's got a lot of explaining to do before they can contemplate getting to that stage. "I can't imagine anyone being a bigger hit with my children," he comments as he joins Ruth on the sofa.

Ruth laughs slightly nervously and switches the television off. "They're really great," she replies. "Graham's going to be such a heartbreaker when he grows up."

"He certainly is." Harry agrees. "Catherine's unfortunately become very insecure since Jane left. She's scared I'll leave too."

"That's understandable. I'm sure things will ease with time."

"Yeah. She's miles better now than she was when it first happened. She'd scream bloody murder every morning when I left for work. I'm surprised the nanny didn't resign! She's a wonderful girl; great with Catey and Graham. I always have to ask her to work extra hours, as you can imagine with our job but she never complains. Obviously, I pay her well for the inconvenience. Would be easier if she lived in, but she won't; no matter how hard I try to persuade her. Suppose she likes her own space."

"Yeh," Ruth replies distractedly. Harry waits for her to come back to the conversation and when she realises she's not been paying attention she's mortified. "Sorry! I was just…well I was trying to figure out why you didn't tell me about them," she admits.

Harry looks down at the floor ashamed. "I'm sorry. Not many other people on the Grid know about them either. I prefer to keep my home life off the Grid. I always did; even when Jane was still here. Now, I don't tell people because it's just easier not to."

"I'm just a little confused because it was you who asked me to dinner; who wanted to further our relationship and…"

Harry groans. "When you put it that way it sounds awful! I have no defence really. My life is so complicated. I'm a full time Dad; a working parent. I spend what little spare time I have watching Disney films, reading cook books and learning to sew, so it's helps to compartmentalise my life; just until I figure this out. I have no idea how to date and be…who I am now. And I suppose, I was trying to protect them too. Introducing someone to their life, without knowing if they're going to be a permanent fixture…after what happened with Jane…"

"You're scared of what will happen if they get attached and it doesn't work out," Ruth surmises.

Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair; it's not easy to admit ones fears. "Yes."

"And now I've come round anyway and…"

"I'm glad you did," he admits.

"Even though it complicates things?"

"Even though it complicates things," he assures her. "You never did get chance to tell me why you'd come round."

Ruth blushes. "I…just wanted to see how you were. After yesterday, I mean. It was one hell of a day."

"Oh, I'm fine." The disappointment is evident in his voice and it's enough for Ruth to admit the truth.

"Actually, that's not the only reason I'm here." Harry raises an eyebrow at her, intrigued. "I realised that I left work yesterday without actually giving you an answer about dinner."

"Ah yes. That. It's okay Ruth. Don't worry about it. Although I will say that I'm not a monster; if you don't want to go out to dinner with me, just tell me. There's no need to run away and avoid me."

Ruth stand up, ready to defend her actions. "I…I didn't. I mean I wasn't…I…it,"

"Ruth! Take a deep breath," Harry tells her.

She does so and gathers herself together. "I'll admit I was avoiding you; but not for the reasons you think." She proceeds to tell Harry about her subsequent conversation with Adam and how it had spooked her a little.

"I've half a mind to put him on the next plane to far reaches of Siberia."

"Hardly a rational thing to do; he's your section chief and the best field office you have. Anyway, I think you've rather missed the point. I didn't run because I didn't want to go to dinner with you; it was because I so badly did and didn't know how to handle the inevitable gossip it would create."

Harry's eyes widen. "And now?"

"And now I've decided that I'm not going to the opinions of people at work dictate my personal life. So, if the offer of dinner still stands," she takes a deep breath, "I'd like to accept."

He stands and approaches Ruth. "Of course it still stands."

"Good. Do you still have the dinner reservation or did you cancel it when you thought I was turning you down?"

"I was going to, but I hadn't got around to it. Is tomorrow at 8 okay?

"Sounds perfect."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaad!" comes a cry from Catherine upstairs.

Harry rushes to the bottom of the stairs, Ruth following behind. "I'm here sweetheart. I'll be up in a second." He turns to Ruth. "Nightmare," he explains and Ruth can tell they happen frequently.

She nods sympathetically. "I'll get going then. Let you see to her. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"I'll pick you up at seven thirty," he offers, as she retrieves her coat from the end of the bannister and he opens the front door for her.

"I'll be ready. Goodnight Harry.

"Goodnight Ruth." He kisses her gently on the cheek before watching her walk down the path to her car. He closes the door and leans against it. _'That went well,'_ he thinks, _'I introduced someone from work to the children and the world didn't implode. Plus I have a date.'_ He revels in the new developments in his life for a few moments, before another shout from Catherine reminds him that he is first and foremost a father and that is where his priorities must lie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_Saturday 24__th__ October 1998 8.30am_

The next morning, Ruth is lying in bed reading the paper when her mobile rings. 'Please don't be a red flash,' she prays as she reaches across to the bedside table for it. She glances at the caller display; it's Harry.

She takes a calming breath before answering. "Hello?"

"Hi, it's me. Did I wake you?"

"No. I was awake. Just reading the papers. Some interesting comments on our handling of the assignation attempt."

"Bloody media moguls," mutters Harry. "Rest assured I shall be speaking to Downing Street press office first thing on Monday morning."

"I'd expect nothing less. So, what can I do for you?"

"I'm calling on behalf of my children actually; it appears you made quite an impression."

"Oh?"

"Yes. They were wondering if you'd like to accompany us to the park this morning." Ruth is slightly taken aback at the proposition; she had gotten on well with Catherine and Graham but hadn't imagined they would request to spend time with her. "Ruth," comes Harry's voice again, "Are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm here."

Then she hears Catherine's voice in the background. "What did she say Daddy?"

"Can I speak to Catherine?" Ruth asks.

"Erm, yeh. Hold on. Catherine, Ruth would like to speak to you."

"Hello," Catherine says brightly. "Has Daddy asked you about the park? Can you come?"

"Are you sure you want me to come? Would you not like to spend some time with your Dad?"

"Please come! We really want you to!"

"Okay."

"Really?!"

"Yes. Put your Dad back on so we can arrange things."

Catherine hands the phone back to her Dad. "I take it by the look on her face that you've agreed to come."

"On one condition," she stipulates.

"Which is?"

"I'm home for a decent time this afternoon; I have a very important date tonight and I need to get ready." Her tone is playful, teasing him.

"A date eh? Well he's a lucky man, whoever he is," teases Harry. "I promise we won't keep you too long."

"So, what's the plan then?"

* * *

Ruth once again finds herself standing nervously on Harry's doorstep, but her nerves this time are for a different reason. She wants to make a good impression on Harry's children; she wants them to like her. If they don't, she knows there'll be no future for her and Harry and she doesn't want that.

She knocks on the door and hears a shout coming from inside. 'Daddy! She's here, she's here!" Seconds later she footsteps coming down the stairs, followed by a crash, another shout and some barking, before Harry flings the door open.

Dressed casually in blue jeans and a white t-shirt, he looks a little flustered. "Hi."

"Hi." She looks at him cautiously. "Are you okay?"

He lets out a little laugh. "I'm fine; just tripped up over one of Graham's toys on the stairs. Damn things." He holds the door open for her. "Come in."

"Thanks." Harry leads her to the living room, where Catherine and Graham are colouring at the coffee table.

"Hi," she greets as she enters.

"Hi Ruth," answers Catherine, offering the briefest of glances before turning her attention back to her picture. She's concentrating hard; her tongue poking out through her lips.

"Hiya!" calls Graham, grinning and waving a green crayon at her.

"Would you like a drink, Ruth?" Harry asks.

"I thought we were going to the park," moans Catherine.

"We are but I thought you were colouring. Are you ready to go now?" Both children nod and Harry turns to Ruth. "Is that okay with you?"

Ruth also nods. "That's fine."

"Right then, coats and shoes on please," Harry instructs. The two children run out into the hallway, and begin to get ready as Harry turns to Ruth. "Thanks for doing this. They were so eager to see you again. I hope we didn't interfere with your plans too much?"

"I didn't have much planned to be honest."

"Apart from preparing for your date tonight," he reminds cheekily.

"Well there is that," she replies, her eyes twinkling at this new found ease they suddenly have with each other.

Catherine bounds into the room then and stands in front of Ruth. "Can you help me with my zip? It's stuck."

"What's the magic word Catey?" prompts Harry.

"Sorry Daddy. Please?" she asks Ruth.

"Let's have a look at it then," Ruth says and as she's fixing it Harry goes to sort out Graham.

A few minutes later they're ready to go. The park is only a short walk from Harry's house. Harry pushes Graham in his buggy, Scarlett trotting along by his side, while Catherine insists on holding Ruth's hand. When they arrive, Catherine runs straight for the swings, dragging Ruth along with her. When they stop in front of the swings, Ruth has to catch her breath as Catherine climbs into the seat.

"Will you push me please?"

Ruth begins to push her as Harry arrives with Graham and lifts him into the baby swing next to Catherine. As he pushes his son gently he watches Ruth with Catherine. Catherine is giggling as she soars higher and higher. Ruth is smiling too, obviously enjoying herself.

Harry continues to watch her for her for a few moments, before she feels his gaze on her. He smiles at her as their eyes meet and Ruth thinks she's going to get lost in his gaze. He takes two steps towards her and reaches his hand towards her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Ruth shivers at the contact and feels the goosebumps rise on her skin.

"Higher! Higher!" calls Catherine and the moment is broken. Ruth snaps her gaze away from Harry's and focuses on his daughter. Harry though, keeps his gaze firmly on Ruth.

* * *

An hour and a half later, Ruth is sat on Harry's sofa while he makes them both a drink. Graham is stretched out asleep with his head on Ruth's lap and Catherine dozing in the chair; their antics that morning having tired them both out. Ruth is absentmindedly stroking Graham's hair soothingly when Harry returns from the kitchen. He places Ruth's coffee on the end table next to the sofa. "You're good with them, you know?" he says as he sits at the other end of the sofa, Graham's feet just touching his leg.

"They make it easy; they're great kids."

"Shame their mother doesn't think so," Harry replies bitterly.

"Harry…" Ruth warns indicating the children; this isn't something she thinks they should talk about in front of them, whether they're asleep or not.

"Sorry. I just don't understand it. Even after all these months. It's so unfair for them."

Ruth reaches across and squeezes his arm. "I know. But they've still got you; you're a good father Harry."

"But is it enough?"

"Of course it is. You have to believe that Harry, or else what would be the point in you trying?"

He sighs, but her words seem to lift him slightly. "As always, you're right."

A slight smile from Ruth as she agrees. "As always."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Sorry about the delay in updating this; the new school year is only a week old and already I'm up to my eyes in planning and marking. As such, I can't promise how frequent future updates will be but I'll try my best. Please bear with me.

* * *

**Chapter 5 **

_Saturday 24__th__ October 1998 7.20pm_

Ruth is putting the final touches to her outfit when Harry rings the doorbell. She glances at the clock and smiles to herself; he's early. Putting her second earring in as she walks, she makes her way through to the hall to let him in. She opens the door and Harry's jaw drops as he looks at her; she's beautiful. Her dress is a deep emerald green and finishes just above her knee. It has spaghetti straps and is cut low enough to reveal a subtle hint of cleavage. It's not overly provocative though, it's classy; elegant. She's styled her hair so it falls in loose waves and she's gone for the natural look with her makeup.

"Hi," she greets, a blush colouring her cheeks at his attention.

"Hi," he replies softly. "You look…exquisite."

Her blush deepens. "A slight exaggeration I'm sure, but thank you. You don't look half bad yourself," she tells him as she takes in his appearance. He's wearing a dark grey suit and a blue shirt and, much to Ruth's delight, he's decided to forgo wearing a tie. "You're early though," she admonishes playfully before holding the door open for him. "Come in, I won't be a moment."

Harry follows her into the living room and she indicates for him to sit before approaching the fireplace. She picks up a delicate chain from on the mantelpiece and places it round her neck. She can feel Harry watching her and it's making her nervous which in turn means she is struggling to fasten the clasp on her necklace. After a couple more attempts she is getting quite frustrated. "Thing!" she curses under her breath.

Harry shakes his head lightly in amusement and approaches her. He meets her eyes in the large mirror that hangs above the fireplace and places his hands gently over hers. "May I?" he asks.

Wordlessly she relinquishes her grip on the chain and assists Harry's endeavours by holding her hair out of his way. He has the clasp fastened within seconds. "Th-thank you," she says, inwardly cursing at her hesitation.

"My pleasure," he replies as he places the chain gently against her skin. Ruth shivers as his fingers brush against the nape of her neck. Her reaction doesn't go unnoticed by Harry. With the lightest of touches, he skims her shoulders and his hands travel down her arms eliciting more shivers. He leans in, so close she can feel his warm breath tickle her skin. He lifts his eyes to meet hers in the mirror once more. "You really do look amazing," he whispers huskily. "I'm going to be the envy of every man in the restaurant tonight."

Ruth tears her gaze from his and looks down at the floor. Harry senses she's uncomfortable so pulls back from her; he realises that she probably isn't used to being complimented in such a way and he vows to change that; to make sure she knows how amazing she is.

* * *

"Paris."

"New York." Ruth argues. They've just finished their desserts and are now debating which of the two cities would be the best to visit. Ruth doesn't even know how they got onto this subject but it's clear Harry isn't going to give in.

"Paris," he reiterates.

"Where's your spirit of Atlanticism?" Ruth asks, genuinely shocked that he'd choose to visit Paris over New York.

"Where's your spirit of romance?" he counters.

"My spirit of romance is perfectly fine, thank you! I just think Paris is overrated; a little cliché. Anywhere can be romantic if your with the right person."

Harry nods; he takes her point, but wonders if one day he'll be able to change her mind. "I often dream about a big trip; 'The Grand Tour'. All the great capitals of Europe. Paris, Madrid, Rome, Berlin. Visiting the museum, walking in the streets, sitting in cafés."

"Do some people watching without a backup team and a surveillance van?" she suggests.

He laughs. "That would be something. Of course it's not a trip to do with young children."

"No, I don't expect they'd take as much pleasure from it as you. Maybe when they're older and have left home you'll be able to go."

"Yes; although it's not a trip to do alone either."

Ruth's next words are out of her mouth before she can stop them. "Did you have a particular companion in mind?"

"Well, it would have to be someone whose conversation you enjoyed. Yet who understood sometimes the need for quiet. Somebody with a gentle sense of humour. Principled but not foolish…or naïve." If Ruth doubts for a second that he's talking about her then they're wiped away as he utters those last two words. For a moment Harry wonders if he's pushed things a little too far.

She smiles shyly and nods. "Good qualities."

"You don't often find them in one person," he remarks, topping up her wine glass.

Once again, Ruth allows her mouth to run away with itself. "Did you find them in Jane?" As soon as the words are out of her mouth she is mortified and begins to back pedal. "Oh God! Harry I'm sorry; I don't know where that came from. It must be the wine; yes, that's definitely it. I don't think I should drink anymore. You don't have to answer that; in fact I'd rather you just forget I said anything."

"I'm not sure forgetting about it would be the best idea. You're obviously curious about her and I don't blame you."

"Harry, please don't think you have to-"

"I know you Ruth; you won't rest until you know so if we don't talk about this now, it'll be the elephant in the room until we do. But I'd rather not do it here. Let's get the bill, finish our drinks and then we can take a walk."

Ruth nods as she sips her wine and wonders how the night will turn out. As much as she wants to know about Harry's marriage, this wasn't how or when she had planned to find out and now that the discovery is imminent, Ruth is scared. What implications will it have for them and their budding relationship?

* * *

**A/N:** Please leave a review if you can spare a moment!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **A lovely long chapter for you now…to make up for not updating for a while. Most of the stuff within this chapter is based on Harry's Diary – I may have just changed a few dates here and there to fit with my timeline.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"So what do you want to know?" Harry asks as they walk along the river.

"You make it sound like an interrogation," she protests.

"Sorry. I'm just not used to talking about it."

"We don't have to, Harry. I understand."

"No. You need to know about my past if this," he waves his hand between them, "is to continue."

"Okay. Why don't you start from the beginning."

Harry swallows audibly and takes a deep breath. "I met Jane at Oxford and we became friends, but lost touch after graduation. When I was on leave from the army a year later, I came across her in a pub in Cambridge ; she was teaching at a local school. We met up as and when our schedules allowed and we fell in love. We were married after 16 months on the 15th July 1985. It rained; typical British weather. Apart from the rain, the first part of the day went well; Jane looked beautiful, the vicar was mercifully brief, my best man, Bill, didn't forget the rings and I managed not to fluff my lines. But that was where the perfection ended. You see, I'd applied for MI-5 without telling Jane. I completed my training the week before the wedding and I thought that just before we cut the cake would be the perfect moment to make my confession."

"Oh Harry, your timing!"

"I know. I'd told her I had applied for the Home Office; I knew she was hoping for a quiet life once I left the army. I don't know what possessed me to tell her at that point but I did."

"How did she take it?"

"She pretended to take it well, but I knew she was horrified at the prospect. Not the best start to married life, eh? My father's reading at the ceremony turned out to be quite apt. 'When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her though I know she lies. That she might think me some untutor'd youth, unlearned in the world's false subtleties.' The last line was particularly relevant. 'Therefore-'"

"'I lie with her, and she with me and in our faults by lies we flattered be'," continues Ruth. "Shakespeare's Sonnet 138."

"An MI-5 favourite. Anyway, after she got over the initial shock things settled down, I began working in Section D and Jane found a teaching position in a local school. We were happy for a few years, but it wasn't to last. I lost my best friend and partner, Bill, who had been my best man. He had joined MI-5 around the same time as me and we worked well together, but then came Operation Leapfrog."

"I've read about that operation. Bill Crombie was kidnapped by terrorist wasn't he?"

Harry nods sombrely. "Tortured and then murdered. Half his body burned away by a blowtorch."

"I didn't realise you were the other agent on the op. The files had been redacted."

"There were murmurings that I was to blame. My Section Head didn't believe it and I was cleared in disciplinary but he thought it best to have the files redacted to protect my future career. It was an awful time, and I'm ashamed to say I didn't handle my grief very well. I distanced myself from Jane and I…" Harry trails off, he doesn't want to utter the next words for fear it will ruin his relationship with Ruth.

"It's okay Harry; if it's too much."

He rallies himself. "No. I'd rather you hear this now, from me…than five or ten years down the line from a stranger. I slept with someone else. I regret it deeply."

"Jane found out?"

"No, but she suspected. Juliet was MI-6 station chief in Paris. I was seconded there for a few months. Jane came out to visit on several occasions and took and instant dislike to Juliet; she was beautiful and glamorous and spending a lot of time with me. We had a blazing row about it one weekend and she returned home early. I drowned my sorrows and Juliet found me in the hotel bar. I'm sure I don't need to elaborate on what happened then."

"No, I think I get the idea." Ruth is shocked by his admissions, but reminds herself that all this is in the past. She can tell Harry regrets his actions from the tone of his voice. "Was it…" Ruth trails off.

"No, go on please. What do you want to know?"

"Was it only the one night?"

Harry hangs his head. "No. I'm ashamed to say, it escalated to a full blown affair. It lasted about five, maybe six months. I ended it when Jane found out she was expecting Catherine. The prospect of becoming a father rather changes one's priorities."

"It was the right thing to do," murmurs Ruth.

"The right thing would have been never to start the affair in the first place," Harry counters. "I've vowed I'll never do it again, no matter how bad things get."

"Did things improve with Jane after that?"

"Not really. Her pregnancy was tough and I was hardly home. After the IRA attack on Downing Street-"

"When you saved Major's life," Ruth adds.

"Have you been reading up on me Miss Evershed?"

"No, but you don't save a Prime Minister's life and expect it never to be spoken of."

"Hmm. As I was saying, after the attack, I was promoted and the IRA was back on our radar once again. I even missed Catherine's birth because of work. Needless to say Jane was less than impressed."

"I can imagine, but that's the nature of the job."

"You understand, she didn't."

"It's hard for those outside the 'knowledge circle',"

"I hate that phrase," Harry reminds her.

"I know," she says teasingly. This allows Harry to relax a little; he's told her the worst of his history and she's still here. What's more, she feels comfortable enough to tease him.

"I tried to be home more after Catherine was born but as you've just pointed out, the nature of the job isn't exactly conducive to raising a family. Catherine barely knew me; her first word was Mama at about 7 months…she was over a year old before she called me Daddy."

Ruth squeezes his arm gently. "It can't have been all bad," she says. "You had another child after all."

"Hardly. If anything, we drifted even further apart; we were only staying together for Catherine's sake. Eventually, when Catherine was about three, it all came to a head; another blazing row. We agreed to give it one more go, I'd try and be at home more and she'd try and nag less. It worked for a couple of months but then real life began to creep in once more. Then we discovered Jane was pregnant again." Harry sighs before continuing. "So we gave it another shot. And boy did I try; I was at every doctor's appointment and I helped more at home. I wasn't stupid, I knew that taking care of a toddler while pregnant wouldn't be easy for her. But I missed his birth too; and that was the beginning of the end."

"She couldn't forgive you?"

Harry shook his head. "No. it was a difficult labour and my absence exacerbated her distress. On top of that she struggled to bond with Graham after he was born."

"You mentioned Post-Natal Depression the other night?"

"I wonder if it was, but nothing was ever confirmed. She was a bit down for the first three months but her mother and her sister just called it baby blues and said it would improve. It did in a way. She was better with the children; with Graham but our relationship deteriorated dramatically. By then end it was rare for us to go one night without arguing; even the smallest things like me forgetting to get the milk descended into full blown arguments. Then one day she was gone."

"What happened?"

"It was one of my weekends off, and she'd complained of a migraine. So I took the children to the park; to give her a bit of peace. When we got back she'd gone. Her wardrobe was empty and there was a note on the kitchen table saying she couldn't do it anymore and not to look for her. I'd expected our marriage to end; I was prepared for that, but not to suddenly become a single father. I never thought she'd leave the children. I still don't understand it."

"If it was Post-Natal Depression, she may not even understand it herself, Harry."

"That doesn't help me though, or the kids. I didn't know how to explain it to Catherine. She just kept asking when her Mummy was coming back. How do you explain to a four year old that their Mum doesn't want them anymore? Eventually I said that she'd had to go away and might not be able to come back for a long time. What else could I say?"

"I don't know," Ruth says honestly.

"I took some leave, found a Nanny and the three of us slowly adjusted to our new circumstances. It was hard for a while. Graham was unsettled and Catherine was petrified I would leave too; wouldn't let me out of her sight. She's still struggling with it but, like I said, she's getting there. She doesn't ask about her Mum anymore; but I wonder what she's thinks. Maybe I should talk to her; I don't want her thinking wrong things?" Ruth senses the question is rhetorical; he's merely thinking at loud now. "Graham doesn't remember it, thankfully but I know it won't be long until he starts to realise he's different and doesn't have a Mum at home."

Ruth links his arm as by unspoken agreement they walk back toward the car. She doesn't speak, no words are needed. Harry takes her gesture for what it is; a show of support.

* * *

They don't talk much on the drive back to Ruth's; Harry is aware that she will need time to digest what she's heard. When he parks the car a couple of doors down from her house she turns to him and asks, "Do you want to come in?"

It takes all of Harry's willpower to reply, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh." The disappointment is evident in her voice.

"It's not that I don't want to," he assures. "But I've laid a lot on you tonight, you should take some time to think about it, be sure that you want to continue with this."

"I don't need to," she replies taking a deep breath. "I know what I want."

"You may change your mind when it all sinks in. Please Ruth; I need you to be sure. If you still want to see me again come Monday morning then that will make me the happiest man on the planet, but if you don't, I'll completely understand."

Ruth nods. She doubts that knowledge of Harry's past will change her mind because it's exactly that; it's in the past. But she understands that he can't be hurt again, so she agrees to his stipulations. "Okay. I'll take the time to think, but I really don't think it will make a difference."

Harry sighs a small sigh of relief. "Good. May I walk you to the door."

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't."

They get out of the car and make their way slowly to Ruth's front door, the tension that exists between them building by the second. Ruth retrieves her key from her purse and fumbles a little getting it in the lock, acutely aware of Harry behind her. Harry places his hand on hers and guides the key into place, allowing her to unlock the door.

Once it's open, Ruth turns to face Harry. "Thank you for a wonderful evening."

"You're welcome." He leans in places a gentle kiss on her cheek. She knows he won't try anything else until she's had time to think, and no matter how much she wants him to kiss her properly, she won't push it. She respects him too much. From Harry's perspective, he wants nothing more than to sweep her off her feet with a blinding kiss, but he can't put his heart on the line until he's given her time to digest what he's told her and think it through. "Goodnight Ruth," he whispers as he pulls away.

"Goodnight Harry."

* * *

**A/N:** Please leave a review and let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Monday 2__nd__ October 1998_

Ruth is true to her word and spends Sunday thinking about what Harry told her the previous evening and what a relationship with him would entail and it hasn't deterred her. He'd told her he regretted his affair and that he wouldn't do it again and she believes him; she isn't worried about him cheating. She's glad he was honest with her and feels that the fact that he is willing to talk about things with her is a good sign. Plus she understands the demands of his job a lot more than Jane probably did. By Sunday night she feels very positive about their relationship and can't wait to see Harry on Monday morning.

Unfortunately, events transpire to keep Harry and Ruth apart on a personal level in the week following their date. The Monday brings the start of another terrible week at work; they are feeling the repercussions of the assassination attempt. Harry is back and forth to Whitehall so much that Ruth doesn't actually see him until she's leaving work on the Tuesday evening, and even then they merely pass in the corridor and can't stop to speak. On the Wednesday afternoon they enjoy a brief interlude in the break room, where Ruth finally manages to let him know that despite his past, she still wants to explore a relationship with him. He's thrilled and for a moment Ruth thinks he's going to kiss her there and then, but Malcolm walks in and, oblivious to the fact that he's interrupting, drags Ruth away to look at some information he's found, so nothing happens, but more crucially a second date isn't actually arranged.

On the Thursday Ruth is out of the office all day on training, Friday brings a mammoth JIC meeting for Harry and then that evening Ruth drives down to Cheltenham to spend the weekend with her mother; a visit that has been arranged for several weeks. On the evenings that they aren't at work, they are just as busy in their personal lives. It's Catherine's parents evening, which takes Harry away on the Wednesday and a choir rehearsal means Ruth is unavailable on the Thursday. They exchange a few texts but it's not something either of them feel comfortable discussing over the mobile networks, so they're simply 'hello' texts and making sure each of them is okay.

So, as she enters the Grid early the following Monday morning Ruth is hoping for a quieter week; one where she and Harry can find some time to spend together. Harry is already there when she arrives; she can see him on the phone through his office window. He smiles when he sees her, a gesture which she returns before making her way to her desk. Once she's logged on to the computer she unlocks and opens her drawer to retrieve the files she was working on before she left on Friday and there, sat on top of the intelligence briefing is a bright pink envelope with her name written on the front in a child's handwriting. Ruth wonders for a moment what it is and how it got there but then she feels Harry's eyes on her and looks up to see he's finished on the phone and is watching her intently.

Glancing around to ensure she is alone, she gently opens the envelope. Inside is a birthday party invitation from Catherine. She is going to be 7 next Monday and is having a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. She's written the invitation herself and has obviously tried very hard to make it neat. Once Ruth has read it and digested the contents she picks up the phone and dials Harry's office. He picks up on the first ring.

"A seventh birthday party? That's your idea of a second date?" she teases.

"Catherine's idea, not mine," he explains. "I know it's not ideal but once the party is over and Catey and Graham are in bed, I thought we could have dinner. Might only be a takeaway but..."

"Sounds perfect to me."

"You'll come then?" Harry sounds surprised; like he expected her to refuse.

"On one condition."

"You have a habit of stipulating conditions when spending time with us; should I be worried."

She smiles. "No. My condition was that we have to find time to have lunch this week. Just the two of us?"

"I think we can manage that," he agrees, elated that she wants to spend time with him.

"Good, now I'd better get back to work; my boss is a bit of a slave driver."

"Cheeky!" he admonishes with a chuckle. "Go on then. I'll see you in the briefing."

* * *

Ruth's phone rings at 12.15 that same afternoon.

"Ruth Evershed," she answers.

"I thought we could have that lunch today. Meet you at the usual place in quarter of an hour?"

Ruth smiles; the usual place is their bench on the South Bank, but they've never used if for lunch before. "That'd be nice," she tells him.

"Great. I'll head down there now and pick us up some sandwiches. Do you want anything in particular?"

Ruth considers for a moment. "Chicken salad would be good."

"I'll see what I can do," he says before hanging up.

A few moments later he leaves his office and announces he's going to lunch. Ruth follows with less of a show, fifteen minutes later. If anyone on the Grid finds it strange, they don't comment but then she often leaves the office at lunchtime for a brief walk.

He is on their bench waiting for her when she arrives. As she approaches he hands her wrapped sandwich. "Chicken salad, as requested. I got you some water too."

"Thanks."

They eat in comfortable silence before taking a walk along the river.

"I've missed you," Harry confesses as they near The Tate Gallery. "How was Cheltenham?"

"It was nice thanks. My step-brother Peter was there too so it was good to catch up with him. How are Catherine and Graham."

"They're good," he informs her proudly. "Catherine's teacher says she's settled into her new class well and is making good progress. Graham's as energetic as ever. They've missed you too."

"They hardly know me," Ruth protests.

"As I said, you made quite an impression. Just like you did with me." Ruth blushes so Harry continues, not wanting to embarrass her too much. "They've not stopped talking about you all week. I got something resembling the Spanish Inquisition from Claire, the Nanny, when I got in on Monday night, because you were all the children had talked about."

Ruth blushes. "I had fun with them too," she admits as they come to a stop and stand looking out over the river.

"Thank you; for being so accepting of them. I know it can't be easy. I realise I come as a package deal; three for the price of one; and that that's not everyone's cup of tea. But I also know how I feel when I'm with you…for the first time in a long time I feel happy and content And that's all down to you. I'm glad you're giving us a chance."

"Yes it's a package deal, but it's not a bad looking package is it?"

Harry raises his eyebrows at Ruth's accidental double entendre. "Well, now that you mention it..."

"Oh God!" Ruth flushes with embarrassment as she realises how that sounded. "That sounded so much better in my head! What I meant was-"

"I know what you meant Ruth," he assures. "You're really okay with this?"

"Harry, I wouldn't have agreed to see you again if I didn't think I could handle it. I did as you asked and spent some time thinking about it. I realise that your children have to be your number one priority and I know that being a parent will place certain restrictions on our relationship but I'm willing to work around that because…" Ruth leaves the sentence hanging as she becomes embarrassed and unsure about what she is about to say.

"Because?" he prompts

She takes a deep breath. "Because I think we could have something really special; and you're not the only one who feels happy and content when we're together."

"That's…good."

"Having said that, I'd like to keep this quiet at work. I'd rather not conduct this relationship under the glare of our colleagues; I don't want people to talk about me."

"I can deal with anyone who says anything-"

"I know you can, and I appreciate the sentiment, but I'd like us find our feet with this ourselves before having to face that."

Harry nods. "I can be discreet," he assures.

"I appreciate it. So are you going to tell me more about this party on Saturday."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_Saturday 7__th__ November 1998_

Catherine's birthday party is being held at home and she has been allowed to invite six of her friends, bringing the grand total of children there to eight. When Harry tells her about it, Ruth isn't sure that he knows what he's let himself in for; seven year olds can get pretty excitable at birthday parties. Ruth however, has experienced several children's parties over the years courtesy of her cousin's children so offers her services to help with the organisation and running of the day.

The two of them meet in his office on Wednesday lunchtime to finalise the arrangements. Harry tells the team they are going over some important security information and are not to be disturbed unless it is a real emergency. They even sit at opposite sides of the desk to keep up the pretence. It works though; to anyone glancing into Harry's office it looks like any innocuous meeting between a Section Head and his Security Analyst.

They discuss what food to provide and Harry bows to Ruth's greater experience in this area when she suggests finger food, followed by jelly and ice cream for dessert. The birthday cake has already been ordered – Harry has found the perfect one; a square sponge cake with pink icing and a 'Forever Friends' motif.

They also talk about how to entertain the children. Thankfully, the party is only going to be two hours long so they don't have much time to fill. The party is starting at 1pm so they decide to eat at 2.15. Ruth suggests that that will take them through to 2.45 at which point Catherine can cut her cake before the parents begin arriving to pick up their children. They decide to start the party games at 1.15 to allow all the children chance to arrive and settle. The games they choose are Pass the Parcel, Musical Statues, Bumps and Chairs, and Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

"I never realised that a children's party required so much work," Harry says, finally realising how much was involved.

"You think the preparation is bad, wait until the actual party."

"So anything else I should know?"

Ruth thinks for a moment. "I'd wear something comfortable that you don't mind getting dirty; there's always a chance you'll get covered in jelly and ice-cream!"

"Ruth, you're making me wish I'd never agreed to this party."

"Don't look so worried," she tells him. "You'll be fine. They're just kids, Harry!"

"Yes. That's what worries me."

* * *

Saturday soon rolls round and Ruth presents herself at Harry's house at the agreed time to begin the preparations. "So, raring to go?" she grins as Harry takes the box she is holding from her.

"Raring is not the word I'd choose," he replies a worried look on his face. "Is it too late to cancel?"

"Harry!" she chastises stepping inside. "For the millionth time; stop worrying!"

"What's in here?" he asks, looking into the box.

"Balloons, streamers, paper plates and cups and party bags; I forgot to mention party bags when we had out little meeting."

"What would I do without you?"

Ruth doesn't get a chance to reply because at that moment Catherine comes running down the stairs to greet her. "Ruth! You came!" she cries.

"I said I would."

"Come upstairs so I can show you my party dress!"

"Ruth and I have got to start getting the food ready for the party; she can see your dress later when you put it on."

"Yes, I'm sure it'll look much better with you wearing it!" enthuses Ruth.

Satisfied that she will get to show off her dress at some point, Catherine nods before scampering off back upstairs.

"She's so excited about this party," Harry tells Ruth as he watches his daughter bound off. "I didn't think she was going to go to sleep at all last night. After I put her to bed, she kept calling out and asking me questions; did I have this, did I have that; had I remembered to make the jelly."

"What did you do?" laughs Ruth

"I firmly pointed out that if she didn't go to sleep, she'd be too tired to enjoy the party. That seemed to do the trick; I didn't hear another peep out of her."

They are just about to make their way to the kitchen when the doorbell goes. Harry answers it and, although somewhat surprised by his visitors, greets the couple stood on the other side warmly, embracing them. "Come on in. Ruth, this is my brother Ben and his wife Lyn. Ben, Lyn, this is my…friend Ruth." Ben smirks slightly at Harry's pause, but he doesn't comment, allowing Harry to continue. "She's been giving me a hand organising things for today."

Ruth is taken aback at the presence of other members of Harry's family; she wasn't expecting to meet any of them this soon into their relationship, but she covers it well, shaking their hands and making small talk.

When Catherine and Graham come to greet their uncle and aunt, Harry takes Ruth to one side. "I'm sorry you had to meet them like that; with no warning. I didn't know they were coming myself until last night," he explains. "I thought I'd get a chance to mention it before they arrived but no; my younger brother decides to be early for a change."

"It's okay Harry. It was a bit of a shock but I'm over it now. Are any other relatives going to come crawling out of the woodwork today?

"Not that I'm aware of, no."

Suddenly Catherine is at his side, jumping up and down! "Daddy, Daddy! Uncle Ben says that Granddad has changed his mind and is coming to my party after all!"

Harry looks at Ben for confirmation before turning to Ruth and mouthing, "I'm sorry."

Ruth rolls her eyes and wonders what else this day is going to throw at her!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **I am so sorry for the delay in updating. Work got very busy leaving me little time to write. This past week I've been in London, where I got to meet Nicola Walker after seeing her on stage at the National Theatre. What a lovely, lovely woman! Photo and a written account are on my Tumblr page if you're interested. The link should be in my profile page on here.

Anyway…here's an extra-long chapter to try and make up for my time away!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Once Ruth has gotten used to the fact that she'll have met the majority of Harry's immediate family before their second date, the four adults get to work. Ruth and Lyn prepare the food while Harry and Ben decorate the living room with balloons and streamers. With four pairs of hands instead of the two they were expecting, it isn't long before most of the preparations are complete and much to the adult's relief, there is time for a cup of tea before the party starts.

Once Catherine's friends begin arriving Ruth hides in the kitchen with Harry's brother; neither she or Harry want to field awkward questions about their relationship from well-meaning but inquisitive parents.

"So, how did you and Harry meet?" Ben asks. It seems the awkward questions will come from much closer to home.

"We work together," Ruth answers honestly. She doesn't give any more information, unsure what Ben thinks Harry does for a living.

She's safe however, as Ben whispers, "You're a spy?"

"Technically yes. I'm a desk officer, so not much actual spying for me."

"And you've been seeing each other for how long?" he enquires, a cheeky smile on his face.

"H-how did you-"

"The fact that you're here and have obviously met his children was the big give away. My big brother's not so eloquent introduction just confirmed it," Ben explains before mimicking Harry. "'This is my…friend, Ruth.'"

Ruth can't help but laugh as Ben playfully mocks Harry. "I…we…it's very new."

"How new?" he presses. "Come on, if you tell me I can intercept questions from my Father when he arrives so you don't have to."

"Would you believe that this is our second date?"

"This? His daughter's birthday party?" Ben shakes his head. "Remind me to tutor him in the ways of romance."

"Well, Catherine invited me to her party and Harry promised me dinner afterwards."

"Enough said. We'll get out of your way sharpish."

"Don't feel you have to."

"No, we will; and I'll make sure my father doesn't overstay his welcome either.

Just then, Graham toddles into the kitchen dragging his blue teddy bear behind him, an uneasy look on his face.

"Hello Graham," Ruth greets with a smile. "Are you okay; do you not want to join in the party?"

A shake of the head this time. "Too noisy," he explains.

"Ah." She has to admit he has a point; the noise level coming from the living room has increased as each of Catherine's friends have arrived and right now there appears to be a lot of squealing and giggling going on. "Well then, why don't you sit up here," she pats a dining room chair, "and do some colouring."

Graham nods. "Okay."

Ruth helps Graham onto the chair and then gets his colouring books for him as Ben excuses himself and disappears into the back garden to answer a phone call. Keeping one eye on Graham, Ruth finishes off the food; getting the pizzas ready to go into the oven. There is a knock at the front door as she opens the oven but, assuming Harry will get it, she ignores it and carries on with her task.

A couple of minutes later the knock comes again; Harry hasn't heard the door. Sighing, Ruth puts down the knife and pads down the hallway. She opens the door to reveal an older man, probably in his early sixties; Harry's father.

"Hi," she greets. "You must be Mr Pearce?"

"Yes."

"Come on in. I'm Ruth. I'm a friend of Harry's."

"Just a friend?" he asks with a twinkle in his eyes; not too dissimilar from the one Harry has sometimes. Now she knows where he gets it from.

"Dad!" Ben calls, entering the hallway and Ruth is grateful for his timing. As father and son greet each other she slinks off back to the kitchen.

* * *

Once the pizzas are cooked, Ruth leaves them to cool and joins the party in the living room. She finds the children and Harry, in the middle of a raucous game of musical chairs. They are marching round the chairs as the music blares, their eyes darting between the chairs and Lyn, who is operating the CD player, in anticipation of when the music would stop. Suddenly it stops and there is a mad flurry for chairs. Harry and a little girl dressed in red are left standing, but Harry quickly perches himself on his daughters knees, holding on to the arms of the chair so she isn't taking his full weight.

"This isn't a very comfortable chair," he announces with mock disgust. "It's all lumpy and bumpy."

The children squeal with laughter and Ruth can't help but chuckle at his antics.

"Daddy!" cries Catherine. "That's cheating. You're out!" She shoves him and he tumbles to the floor. Chastened, he pouts before crawling away on his hands and knees, the children's shrieks of delight ringing in his ears.

Soon, the game is over and Catherine's friend Molly is declared the winner. Checking her watch, Ruth asks, "Is everyone ready to eat?" A deafening reply in the affirmative followed by the pounding of seven pairs of small feet as they make their way to the kitchen makes her ears ring. Ruth follows them in and arrives to see the start of an argument between two of the boys.

"I'm sitting next to Catherine!" declares Jack.

"No, I am," protests Callum.

"Well that's easily solved," smiles Ruth. "Catherine can sit at the head of the table and you can each sit either side of her." The children do as instructed and harmony reigns once more. Harry throws her a grateful smile as they begin placing various plates of food on the table.

* * *

The jelly and ice-cream is a big hit and once everyone has had seconds, it's time for Catherine to blow out her candles. Harry's father conducts the young guests in a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday" while Catherine sits there beaming, full of excitement.

"Are you ready to blow out your candles and make a wish?" asks Harry. Catherine nods and Ruth and Lyn stand ready with cameras. "Okay, three, two, one….blow."

Catherine takes a deep breath and puffs. Six candles go out first time but the last one proves a little tricky, so Harry leans over and helps.

"What did you wish for?" asks Molly.

"It's a secret," Catherine tells her friends. "If I tell you, it won't come true. That's right isn't it Ruth?"

"It is, sweetheart. Now, why don't you help me cut the cake?"

Ben and Lyn take the other children back into the living room but Harry hangs back watching from the doorway as Ruth helps Catherine to cut the cake into pieces small enough to go into the party bags. He is that engrossed by them that he doesn't sense his father approaching behind him.

"So that's Ruth," he comments quietly. He's been eager to meet the woman who had so obviously captured his son's heart, especially after the heartache Harry had suffered in his previous relationship.

Harry starts slightly at the sudden appearance. "Yes."

"The children seem to like her."

"She's good with them."

"Do me a favour son; don't let her go. I can tell she's good for you."

Harry stands dumbfounded for a moment at his father's words; he's not usually so effusive. But when Ruth turns around and smiles at him, he feels himself smiling in return, something he's not done much in the recent past. He realises his father is right; Ruth is good for him. Very good indeed.

* * *

The party is over, the guests have left, the takeaway is ordered and Harry is putting the children to bed, whilst Ruth continues clearing up downstairs.

"Well I'd say that was a success," Harry announces as he returns to the kitchen, where Ruth has poured them both a glass of wine.

"It was. Catherine's certainly a very popular little girl," Ruth observes.

"She is. But, my God Ruth, she's only seven years old and already has boys fighting over her!" Harry sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "What's it going to be like when she's in her teens? My life is going to be a misery."

Ruth laughs out loud. "Harry, did you not see her? She wasn't even interested! There's only one man in her life, and that's you. She adores you, and I don't think that will ever change."

"It will, one day." Harry casts a wistful look at the photo of him and Catherine that's stuck on the fridge. "She'll meet someone and fall in love…"

Ruth takes his hand in hers. "That's a long way off, Harry," she tells him softly. "A long way off." Surprising both herself and Harry, she stretches up and places a gentle kiss on his cheek. When she pulls away, she maintains eye contact with Harry and the flick of her gaze down to his lips gives him the impetus to make his move. He reaches up and cups her cheek, tilts her face toward him and lowers his mouth onto hers.

It's a gentle kiss, lips grazing and tongues teasing. Ruth moans into Harry's mouth and her fingers clutch two handfuls of his shirt, hanging on for safety as she floats on the waves of heat and emotion. She lets out a shaky sigh as they break apart and she wraps her arms around him and lays her head against his chest. The warmth of his body is pressed all down her front. She stays very still, letting him soak in.

He kisses the top of her head. "I've wanted to kiss you for so long," he murmurs into her hair.

"Me too," she agrees, her cheeks reddening at her admission.

He leans down to capture her mouth again and turns them, pressing her against the kitchen cupboards. The kiss deepens and their hands begin to roam; hers rubbing up and down his back until they resting just above his bum; his moving down her sides until they reach the hem of her blouse. His fingers toy with it, brushing against her bare skin, edging the material upwards.

Ruth pulls away, breathless. "Harry…" He looks up at her. "As wonderful as this feels, I think we should slow down. The food will be here soon and we don't want either Catherine or Graham to find us like this."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. I enjoyed…kissing you."

"But?" he asks, sensing she has more to say

"But…I'd like to take things slowly…with the physical side of things, if that's okay?"

"Of course," he assured. "I'm not going to lie and say I'm going to find it easy because I find you completely irresistible," he tells her as he kisses her again lightly, "but I'll wait if that's what you want."

"It is…for now at least."

"Then that's what we'll do." He reaches around them and retrieves their glasses of wine from the counter. He hands Ruth one and motions for her to follow him to the living room.

"Harry!" she calls him back, worried that her words have hurt him. "For what it's worth…I don't think I'm going to find it easy either," she confesses, a slight blush forming on her cheeks.

"That's…good to know. Now come on," he takes her hand and leads her into the living room, "I think we deserve a sit down."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **A short-ish chapter I'm afraid. Hope you enjoy anyway.

**Chapter 10**

_Monday 9__th__ November 1998_

When her actual birthday arrives, Catherine is so excited that she is awake long before her usual hour. She slips out of bed and heads for her father's bedroom. Harry is also awake, but when he hears the creak of his bedroom door, he closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep. Catherine creeps in and carefully lifts the duvet and crawls in next to him. "Are you awake?" she whispers softly. Harry frowns and shifts about under the covers, still maintaining his charade of being asleep. Catherine shakes him gently, "Daddy, are you awake?"

"Hmm?" Harry half opens an eye and regards his daughter. "Catey? What are you doing up so early?"

"It's my birthday today," she announces with a smile.

Harry decides to have a little fun with her. "Is it? Are you sure?"

"Yes Daddy. I'm seven today!" she insists.

Harry shakes his head. "That's not possible. My little girl can't be seven already."

"I am Daddy! We had my party remember…and you cheated at musical chairs!"

"Oh yes, so I did. Well in that case, I'd better give you….a birthday hug!" His face breaks into a huge smile as he sits up suddenly, grabs his daughter and pulls her too him. He squeezes her tightly causing her to giggle; how he wishes she could stay this age forever.

"Come on, let's go and get your brother and then we can go downstairs and open your presents."

"Yay!" Catherine shouts and she runs from the room, shouting for her younger sibling. If Graham was still asleep, there's no way he still will be now.

Once Graham is up, the three of them congregate in the living room and Harry hands Catherine two envelopes. "Open these first," he tells her. Catherine tears open the envelopes and pulls out her cards. One to 'my darling daughter' and the other 'to a special sister'. "Look," Harry points out. "Graham tried to write his own name for you."

Graham beams and points. "I did tha!" Catherine just smiles and gives her little brother a hug.

She stands her cards on the coffee table and Harry hands her a beautifully wrapped package. "This is from Graham."

"What is it?"

"Why don't you open it and find out," suggests Harry.

She quickly tears of the paper. Inside is a packet of glow in the dark stars. Catherine has wanted some for ages and her eyes shine with delight. "Wow! Thank you Graham! Can we put them on my bedroom ceiling Daddy? Can we do it now?"

"I'll put them up for you, but it'll have to be after work," Harry tells her, biting back a chuckle at her enthusiasm. "Don't you want your other presents?"

"Yes please!" Catherine waits expectantly as her father selects another beautifully wrapped gift and hands it to her. She has the paper off in seconds to reveal a red jumper, and a pair of dark blue jeans.

"Can I wear these tonight?" They are going out for tea tonight to celebrate and, much to Harry and children's delight, Ruth has agreed to join them.

"I don't see why not. Right, Last present from me," Harry announces, handing her a box wrapped in heavily embossed paper and tied with sparkling gold ribbon.

Catherine's eyes brighten with excitement, and Harry suspects she knows what is in the box. She'd dropped enough less than subtle hints about what she wanted and she knows it's extremely unlikely that he'll let her down. She places the present on the sofa next to her and sets about opening it; this time taking care not to rip the nice paper.

"Oh thank you Daddy!" she cries as she finally sees what's inside. It's a Tiny Tears doll which actually cries and sheds tears. She's been mithering for one for a few months; all her friends at school have one. She jumps up onto her Dad's knee and gives him a big hug.

"You'll have to think of a name for her," Harry advises. "But first, let's open the rest of your presents."

* * *

Claire, the nanny, arrives just as Catherine is finishing opening her presents from her extended family, which allows Harry to get ready for work as she makes the children's breakfast. Once he is ready, he enters the kitchen and steals a piece of toast from Catherine's plate.

"Hey," she protests, but she doesn't really mean it; it's a long standing joke between them. Claire quickly replaces the slice for her as the doorbell rings. "Who's that Daddy?" Catherine asks.

"I don't know. I'll go and find out." He disappears into the hallway and returns moments later with Ruth in tow.

"Ruth!" squeals Catherine, getting down off her chair and throwing her arms around her visitor.

"Hello!" laughs Ruth as she returns the young girl's embrace, before reaching out and ruffling Graham's hair.

Harry introduces Ruth to Claire and the two shake hands. "We weren't expecting to see you this morning," says Harry.

Ruth blushes. "No. Well…I just thought that…well that…"

"Relax Ruth. It was just an observation. You're welcome here anytime."

Ruth calms and smiles bashfully. "I just thought Catherine might like her birthday present before she goes to school."

Catherine nods enthusiastically and clasps her hands together at the thought of another gift. This time it's a box of paints complete with brushes. "Wow Daddy, look," she exclaims, holding up the paintbox for him to see.

"That's great. Think of all the wonderful pictures you'll be able to paint. What do you say to Ruth?"

"Thank you Ruth," says Catherine giving her another hug.

"I also have a little something for Graham," Ruth announces and the little boy turns his head in interest. At Harry's questioning glance, she explains. "I didn't want him feeling too left out." She hands Graham a story book about dinosaurs; his latest obsession.

"What do you say?" prompts Harry.

"Fank you!" Graham replies.

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

"Read it?" Graham asks, holding the book out to her.

"Not right now," Claire tells him. "Daddy and Ruth have to get to work. Maybe we can read it when we've dropped Catherine off at school." Mollified, Graham returns to his toast.

"Claire's right, we really should get a move on. You'll let me give you a lift?" Harry asks.

Ruth looks uneasy; thinking about the rumours that could start, but Harry's smile wins her over. "Okay. But if anyone asks, you drove past me at the bus stop and felt sorry for me because of the rain."

Harry rolls his eyes good naturedly. "Whatever you say."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Quick update – unfortunately I can't promise that the next ones will be just as quick.

Also, to those people who have being suggesting that Harry needs to do something about his marital status…that will be addressed over the next few chapters.

**Chapter 11**

Harry has made the mistake of promising Catherine that she can choose the restaurant for her birthday meal, and much to his disdain, she's chosen Pizza Hut. The four of them sit round a circular table, tucking into a large Hawaiian pizza. The cheese on the pizza is quite stringy though and Catherine struggles to separate it; ending up with cheese dangling from her mouth to below her chin. Graham finds this hilarious; giggling away to himself.

He provides some amusement too. Moments later, after taking a long drink, he lets out an enormous burp causing Catherine to laugh.

"Charming!" comments Harry. "And in front of a guest too!"

"Sowree Daddy," Graham says, unconvincingly.

"You know, in China, belching after a meal is considered a compliment to the chef," Ruth informs.

Catherine senses an opportunity, but Harry reads her like a book and clamps his hand over her mouth before her belch can escape. "We are not in China," he asserts. Ruth stifles a laugh.

"Can we have an ice cream factory?" Catherine asks when the pizza and garlic bread are finished.

"Ice cream!" concurs Graham

"Please?!" pleads Catherine with puppy dog eyes.

"Okay. As long as you don't eat so much that you make yourself sick," Harry agrees.

"We won't!" Catherine calls; already out of her seat and heading towards the ice cream station, Graham following excitedly behind.

"I'm going to be up all night with two sick children aren't I?"

"It's a distinct possibility," agrees Ruth. "They've had fun though."

"They have. I can't remember the last time I saw Catey smile this much."

"It's because it's her birthday."

Harry shakes his head gently. "It's because of you."

Ruth wants to ask him what he means, but can't quite find the words. By the time she does, Catherine and Graham have returned to the table, bowls piled high with ice-cream, sweets and sticky chocolate sauce.

* * *

After Harry has settled the bill, they make their way back to his house where Ruth had left her car earlier that morning. When they get in, Harry gets a sleepy Graham changed and tucks him into bed, before instructing Catherine to go and ready herself for bed. "Don't forget to wash your face and do your teeth."

"Will Ruth read me a story?" Catherine asks.

"Of course sweetheart," Ruth agrees.

"Once you're ready for bed," Harry says. Catherine obediently trots off upstairs to her room to get changed. Harry and Ruth sit on the sofa. "Thanks for coming to celebrate with us. I really appreciate it and Catherine does too." He puts his arms around her, his hands stroking gently up and down her back. He presses a kiss to her brow.

"It's not a problem…I had fun." She pauses for a moment before asking, "Harry…what did you mean before…in the restaurant…when you said Catherine's happiness was down to me? It can't be, I mean I've only known her for two weeks."

"Well, like I've said on numerous occasions, you have made quite an impression and it is good for her to have a female around. But I was actually referring to the effect that you've had on me. Since we've begun to explore a relationship, I've been more relaxed and I think that's rubbed off on them."

Ruth smiles, happy with his explanation and nestles against him, inhaling that unique scent that is Harry. "That's okay then. I was worried for a minute that Catherine's wellbeing depended wholly on me."

"As brilliant as you are, that would be a bit of a burden to put on you."

He kisses her head again.

"Mmm. Want to try that a little lower," she suggests.

"Just where exactly do you mean?" Harry asks in a teasing tone.

"Hmm, maybe…here?" She taps her lips lightly with her fingertips.

"Now there's an offer I can't refuse," he replies, his voice soft. The tips of fingers brush against the sides of her face, then he takes it in his hands, tilting it upwards before tenderly bringing his lips down to meet hers. She wraps her arms around him as the kiss deepens and lengthens. Eventually, the need for air and the sound of footfalls on the stairs cause them to pull apart.

Catherine reappears, dressed in her pyjamas and smelling of soap and toothpaste. "Can Ruth read to me now?"

Ruth stands up and holds out her hand. "Come on then, show me your room." All three of them head up to Catherine's bedroom, the stars that she had received that morning are glowing brightly on her ceiling.

"Do you like my stars, Ruth?"

"They're very pretty."

"They're from Graham," Catherine informs her as she chooses a book off the shelf.

"Aren't you lucky to have such a kind little brother?"

Catherine looks around and, seeing that Harry is busy checking on Graham in the room next door, whispers to Ruth. "I know Daddy bought them really. But that's okay cos Graham's only little." She puts a finger to her lips. "Ssssh, though. Don't tell Daddy and Graham that I know. It's a secret."

Ruth suppresses a chuckle at the little girls behaviour. "Don't worry. I won't say anything. So, what book are we reading?"

Catherine hands her a well-worn copy of The Railway Children and crawls under her covers. "We're on chapter seven," she advises.

Ruth sits on the edge of Catherine's bed, finds the right page and begins to read, "_I hope you don't mind me telling you a good deal about Roberta. The fact is I am growing very fond of her. The more I observe of her, the more I love her. And I notice all sorts of things about her that I like. For instance…"_

Harry stands in the doorway, watching Ruth, hypnotised by the sound of her voice. It relaxes him and he easily drifts away into a day dream, comparing the words she is speaking to his own view of Ruth; the more time he spends with her, the stronger he feels for her. The way she is with his children has cemented his love. It's not until she's standing in front of him that he realises she's stopped speaking.

"I barely got through two pages before she was fast asleep. You were miles away."

"Well, your voice is rather distracting." They step outside of Catherine's room and make their way downstairs.

"Would you like a drink?" he offers.

Ruth shakes her head. "No thanks. I really should be going; it's been a long day."

Harry nods and escorts her to the front door. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"You will. Tell Catherine and Graham I'll see them soon…if that's alright?"

"That's more than alright," Harry smiles, placing a kiss on her lips. "Perhaps this weekend?"

"That would be nice." She stretches up and kisses him once more. "Goodnight."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Training day tomorrow means no lessons to prepare. So I did this instead. Enjoy.**  
**

**Chapter 12**

_Saturday 6th March 1999…_

The weeks after Catherine's birthday pass quickly, with Ruth spending an increasing amount of time with Harry and his children. Towards the beginning of the relationship, whenever she and Harry had the same weekends off she would arrive at their house on the Saturday morning and spend the whole day with them. Once the children were in bed she and Harry would enjoy a meal together before relaxing on the sofa, either to watch something on the television or just to talk and get to know one another. Ruth would leave somewhere between 11 and 1 and they would spend Sunday apart. In fact the only weekend she didn't see them was at Christmas, as she'd gone home to Cheltenham to spend time with her family. She'd spoken to them all on the phone on Christmas Day though. Since New Year's Eve, however, when her relationship with Harry had become more physical, Ruth has stayed over every Saturday night and now spends full weekends (and some evenings in the week) at Harry's house.

They'd been careful to shield the children from their developing relationship at first, for fear of worrying them or hurting them if it didn't work out. So waking up in Harry's bed on New Year's Day, Ruth had been more than a little nervous at the prospect of joining Harry and the children for breakfast. Harry had told her she was worrying about nothing and he was right. Catherine and Graham hadn't been fazed at all by her staying over; they'd accepted her appearance at the table that morning without question. It was only when faced with the reality of Ruth sharing her father's bed a few weeks later, when she'd woken up from a nightmare and crept into her Dad's room, that Catherine mentioned the development.

"_Are you Daddy's girlfriend?" she'd asked sleepily as she clambered into bed with them. _

_Ruth and Harry had shared a look over Catherine's head and mutually decided that there was no point in lying. "Yes I am," Ruth had answered._

"_I thought so," Catherine replied knowingly._

"_Is that okay?" Ruth has asked, looking for approval from the little girl._

"_Yeh," yawned Catherine, snuggling into her. "I like you." _

And that had been that.

* * *

When the four of them spend the weekend together, their activities range from trips to the zoo to curling up in front of the television to watch a film, but what Ruth enjoys most is making things with Catherine. Ruth is constantly impressed by Catherine's creative abilities. Although the results aren't always perfect, she clearly relishes the creative challenge. Harry is usually the recipient of Catherine's creations and they are always accepted with love and cherished with pride. Ruth is occasionally given a picture or two as well, and they take pride of place on her refrigerator door. Today they are baking fairy cakes, while Harry is trying to teach Graham the finer points of football in the garden, and Catherine is as eager as ever.

"Did you do a lot of baking when you were little?" asks Catherine as she helps Ruth gather together the ingredients and equipment they need to make the cakes.

"Only when I went to my Grandma's house. My Mum wasn't really a baking sort of person."

The little girl watches as Ruth takes the top off the food mixer and wipes out the bowl with a clean cloth. "Did you make cupcakes like we're going to make?"

"Oh yes; they were my Granny's favourite thing to bake."

Catherine nods. "We made cupcakes in school one. Miss Harrison told us you have to sieve the flour so the air gets into it and that helps the cakes rise."

"That's right; well done. If we weigh the flour out now, you can sieve it for me." Carefully, Ruth pours the flour into the bowl of the weighing scales and together she and Catherine check they have the right amount. Ruth helps Catherine pour the flour into the sieve and then allows her to sieve it gently into the mixing bowl. This is followed by the addition of sugar, butter and eggs. Once all the ingredients are in the bowl, under Ruth's supervision, Catherine whizzes them with the electric mixer and pours the resulting creamy mixture into cake casings. Ruth then carefully slides them into the oven to bake.

"Can we have a drink now?" Catherine asks.

"Of course, what would you like?"

Catherine instructs Ruth as to what she wants to drink. Ruth pours it for her and then they both sit down at the table and begin to discuss the icing for the cakes.

"I think I'd like pink icing," Catherine declares. Ruth isn't surprised; pink is the young girl's favourite colour and with that in mind, she'd brought some pink food colouring with her.

"What about Graham?"

"Well, he can't have pink; he's a boy. He should have blue."

"Some boys like pink."

"Graham doesn't," Catherine insists.

"Well when your Dad brings him in we can ask him what colour he'd like, can't we?"

Catherine nods enthusiastically. "I like making things with you Ruth," she says.

"I like making things with you too, sweetheart."

"You're much better at making things than Dad. He tries but he's not as good as you."

"I'm not as good as Ruth at quite a lot of things," Harry says, entering the kitchen with Graham on his hip. "She's quite remarkable," he adds, looking pointedly at Ruth.

"What does remarkable mean?" Catherine asks; always eager to learn new words.

"It means that something is very good and deserves a lot of attention." Harry tells her, setting Graham on the floor. "So what are you girls talking about?"

"We put the cakes in about ten minutes ago and are trying to decide on what colour icing to have," Ruth explains.

"Cake?" ask Graham.

"Soon, sweetie. They're not ready yet," Ruth tells him. He accepts this before pulling himself up onto her knee.

"I want pink icing," Catherine tells her Dad, "but Graham can't have pink icing 'cos he's a boy and boys don't like pink."

"Some boys like pink," Harry says gently, "and some girls like blue."

"That's what Ruth said," Catherine remembers and she seems to give the concept serious consideration before declaring, "They're just weird!"

Ruth and Harry manage to supress their laughter and Ruth asks Catherine to get the food colouring out of the bag so that Graham can choose. She lays them out on the table and points to each one in turn and names the colours for him. He still struggles sometimes to get them right so she and Harry are taking every opportunity to reinforce them for him.

"So, which is it to be, son?" asks Harry as Ruth reaches the pink; the last bottle.

Graham raises his finger and points, "Gree!" he exclaims.

"Green?" clarifies Ruth. Graham nods. She puts the green and pink bottles to one side, just as the oven timer pings.

"It's time to get the cakes out!" cries Catherine. With that, the little girl is off her chair, towards the oven. "Can I do it?" she asks eagerly, reaching for the oven gloves.

"If you're very, very careful; the trays will be extremely hot and we don't want you to burn yourself do we?"

"I'll be careful. I promise!"

"Okay then." Ruth turns the oven off and Catherine slowly opens the oven door taking a step back as the heat gusts out. She reaches carefully into the oven and retrieves the trays, Ruth hovering and watching constantly; ready to intervene at any time. "Well done sweetheart," she praises. "We just need to leave them to cool for a little and then we can ice them."

Harry watches them intently; he knows he's got to allow Catherine some independence and responsibility but he worries about her too much; Ruth is able to give this to her and Harry can see it's good for her. He adores the way Ruth is with both his children; they've accepted her better than he could ever have hoped, especially Graham who is shy and doesn't normally take well to new people.

"Daddy!" calls Catherine. Harry returns from his musings and whips round to face Catherine, only to receive a handful of flour in his face.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Just a short snippet to tide you over – although you'll probably want to kill me for stopping when I do. And I can't promise an update anytime soon as this is a very busy time of year for me and I want to work on a H/R Christmas fic too!

Please do leave a review – they were quite low for the last chapter with only 6. And I know Harry's marital status is causing a bit of concern for some of you but please trust me – it will be resolved soon.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

_Previously…_

"_Daddy!" calls Catherine. Harry returns from his musings and whips round to face Catherine, only to receive a handful of flour in his face. _

"Catherine!" Ruth attempts to chastise the young girl, but the sight of Harry with a face full of flour is too much and she started to laugh. She's soon joined by Catherine and Graham, who thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever seen.

"Something you find funny, Miss Evershed?" Harry asks, standing up and advancing towards her. She notices the glint in his eyes a moment too late and before she can react, he's grabbed the bag of flour from the counter behind her. He takes a handful of the white powder and looks at Ruth with intent.

She backs away but finds herself trapped by the cupboards. "N-no! Harry! Don't you da-" But it's too late; Harry unleashes the flour and it hits her on the forehead, spreading into her hair. "Right! That's it!" she declares. She lunges for him, trying to grab the bag back. He's too agile and strong for her though and he launches another two handfuls at her and Catherine.

Graham protests at being left out of all the fun, so Harry allows him to get some flour from the bag and that's when Ruth takes her chance. Narrowly avoiding Graham's throw, she reaches the shopping bag that she brought with her and triumphantly pulls out a second, bigger, bag of flour.

"Ah," gulps Harry.

"Give in?" Ruth asks?

"Never. One thing you still need to learn about me, Ruth, is that I always go down fighting."

"Is that so?" While Harry was speaking Ruth managed to get the packet open and both she and Catherine have their hands in the bag. "Ready?" Ruth asks her young comrade.

"Ready!" Catherine asserts.

"3, 2, 1….Go!"

Ruth's words signal the start of a massive flour fight, with white powder flying in all directions. Graham and Catherine tire quickly, but are quite content to sit back and watch as the two adults fight it out; giggling along with them.

Eventually when Harry runs out of flour and has to surrender, the fight comes to an end and Harry gets the chance to look around the kitchen. "Hell's bells!" The floor, table and counters are all covered in white except, quite remarkably, the bit where the cakes were cooling; they had obviously made an effort to avoid that area. He turns to Catherine and Graham. "Look at you two; you look like little snowmen!"

Catherine shakes her head to get of some of the flour. "It's okay Dad. We'll wash!"

"And the kitchen will come clean," adds Ruth. "We'll wipe the sides and the table then the majority of what's on the floor should brush up. Then I'll run a quick mop over is to get anything that we don't get with the brush."

Harry spies Catherine sneaking off at the thought of having to clean up. "Oh no you don't young lady. You started this fight; so you can help clear up the mess."

They work well, even Graham wipes some of the table (or he attempts to anyway) and less than an hour later the kitchen is looking habitable again. The children have also been cleaned up. Harry is just about to start washing some of the dishes from the first round of Ruth's baking, so she can ice the cakes with Catherine and Graham, when the doorbell rings. He looks at his watch.

"Expecting anyone?" Ruth asks.

"No. I wonder who it is?"

"I don't know why people say that; just answer the door and find out."

"Probably someone trying to sell me double glazing or a conservatory. They've been round three times this week already. Bloody salesmen!"

"Well go and give them a piece of your mind, then."

Harry puts the dishcloth down on the drainer, and leaves the kitchen shutting the door behind him. He pads down the hallway towards the door, picking up discarded toys on the way. He flings open the door ready to tell the poor salesman who got stuck with his street, where he can shove his UPVC windows and doors but his jaw drops as he takes in the person standing on the threshold.

It's not a double glazing salesman. It's Jane.

"Hello Harry."

* * *

**A/N:** Ducks flying objects! I know, I'm cruel…but think of the anticipation. No? Oh well leave me a review to let me know what you think of me/the story.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_Previously…_

_It's not a double glazing salesman. It's Jane._

"_Hello Harry."_

* * *

Harry stares at the woman who abandoned him and the children and caused them so much pain; he is rendered speechless by her sudden appearance.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asks, stepping towards him. "The house is still half-mine after all."

Harry doesn't move. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I want to see my children."

"No. Not now, not like this. You can't just turn up out of the blue whenever you feel like it and expect to see them."

"How are they?" she asks

"They're fine, no thanks to you."

"That's unfair."

"No. What's unfair is you abandoning them. What's unfair is them having to grow up without a mother. What's unfair is Catey crying herself to sleep for months after you left, wondering what she'd done wrong to make her Mummy go away." Harry is losing his temper now; all the emotions he has held inside for two years are surfacing. "What you did to them, that was unfair. I don't know why you did it, Jane and quite frankly I don't care. What I care about is the welfare of my children. They don't need you coming in here turning their lives upside down again!"

"You can't stop me from seeing them!" Jane protests. "I'm their mother!"

"And what sort of a mother have you been? What sort of a mother abandons her children?"

"I didn't abandon them; God you make it sound like I left them on someone's doorstep. I left them with you; their father!"

"Harry?" Ruth's soft voice travels down the corridor. "Is everything alright?" She had heard Harry's raised voice from the kitchen and had come out to berate him for shouting at the salesmen, only now she sees it's not a salesman. It's his wife.

Harry turns to face her and she sees the pain in his eyes. "Everything's fine," he lies. "Go back in the kitchen…please," he begs. He wants her to go and keep the children occupied.

It's too late though; as Ruth opens the kitchen door, Catherine comes running out. "Daddy, hurry up! We're waiting for you so we can ice the ca-" She stops as she sees the woman in the doorway.

Jane takes her opportunity and steps inside. "Hello Catherine," she greets, bending down. "Do you remember me?"

"Mummy?" Catherine mumbles, a confused look on her face.

"That's right." Jane opens her arms. "Can I have a cuddle?"

Unsure of what to do, she looks to her father but he is staring at the ceiling. Finding no help from him she turns to Ruth.

Ruth shrugs, not really knowing what to say. "It's up to you, sweetheart."

Catherine approaches her mother warily and gives her a quick, slightly awkward hug, before moving to stand next to her father.

Meanwhile, bored of waiting in the kitchen and thinking he's missing out on something, Graham wanders in from the kitchen. He senses the atmosphere and notices the unfamiliar woman in the hall. He tugs slightly on Ruth's jeans to get her attention and holds his arms out , wanting to be picked up. Ruth does so out of instinct, but she can feel Jane's eyes on her.

"Graham!" Jane exclaims, stepping further into the hall. "You've gotten so big!"

"That tends to happen over two years," Harry comments icily.

Ruth shoots him a glare. As much as he may hate Jane, he needs to remember that the children are still present. Jane approaches Ruth and Graham and reaches out to stroke her son's head. Graham, not recognising his mother and being incredibly shy, turns away, burying his head in the crook of Ruth's neck.

"He doesn't cope well with strangers," Harry tells her.

"I'm not a stranger; I'm his Mum."

"Who he hasn't seen in two years," Harry reminds her. "He doesn't know you."

Ruth turns to Harry, "Maybe I should take these two to the park for an hour or so?" she suggests.

"That's a good idea."

"But what about the cakes?" Catherine asks.

Harry sighs and Ruth can tell he is holding onto his temper by a thread. Not wanting him to blow up at Catherine for something that's not her fault, she intervenes. "The cakes will still be here when we get back. Daddy just needs to have a bit of a talk with…Mummy." Ruth struggles with Jane's 'title' but forces herself to say it for the children's sake.

Catherine turns to her Dad. "Promise you won't eat any?"

"I promise. Now, take your brother and go and get Scarlett in from the back garden." He hands her the lead and Ruth puts Graham down. The two children walk off together as Ruth retrieves her trainers from the shoe rack.

"Who exactly are you?" Jane asks Ruth.

"That's none of your business," Harry tells her, his arms folded across his chest.

"As their mother I have a right to know who's spending time with my children."

"Ruth has been more of a mother to them over the past five months than you have in two years. You don't have the right to know anything."

"Harry, don't," Ruth implores, stepping into him and squeezing his arm gently, trying to calm him down. "Stay calm," she whispers. "Shouting at her won't do any good. You need to find out what she wants and come to some sort of understanding."

"We're ready!" calls Catherine as she, Graham and Scarlett come bounding down the hallway. "Can I go on the big slide again?" she asks. Ruth had finally convinced Harry to let her try the climbing equipment in the 'junior play park' last week and she loved it.

"We'll see. It depends how busy it is. Are you okay to hold Scarlett's lead if I take Graham's hand?" Catherine nods. "Right then. Come on."

"Bye," calls Catherine over her shoulder as she steps outside.

"I've got my phone," Ruth tells Harry. "Ring me when you're done."

"Thank you," he whispers, walking her to the door and kissing her cheek. Once the door is closed behind them, Harry turns to Jane and motions to the living room. "Shall we?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The walk to the park is a strange one; Ruth has never taken the children out alone before, and Catherine keeps asking questions that Ruth doesn't have the answers to.

"Why is Mummy here?" she asks as they reach the end of the street.

"I don't know, sweetheart," Ruth answers honestly. "That's what Daddy is trying to find out."

"Will she still be there when we get back?"

"I don't know."

"Is she back for good?"

Ruth sighs, wishing she had some answers for Catherine. "I don't know."

"What will happen to you if Mummy is back for good? Will you go away?"

Ruth stops and kneels down next to Catherine. "I hope not. Even if your Mummy is back for good, I don't think she and Daddy will live together anymore." Ruth knows how Harry feels about Jane; they've talked about it on several occasions, so she is quite confident in her statement.

"Good," Catherine asserts, surprising Ruth.

"Why do you say that?" she enquires.

"All they did was shout at each other," Catherine states. "It was horrible."

Ruth is astounded at Catherine's memory and feels immensely sorry that she had to go through that. She gives the young girl a comforting hug and makes a mental note to mention it to Harry later on. "Do you have any more questions?" Ruth asks. "I can't promise I'll have the answers but I want you to know you are allowed to ask, okay?"

"Okay."

"So any more questions?"

Catherine thinks for a moment, "Erm…no, not right now."

"Right then. Shall we carry on to the park?"

* * *

The park is surprisingly quiet for a Saturday afternoon in early spring but Ruth's relieved. What Harry told Jane was true, he doesn't like strangers and doesn't cope very well with large crowds; he's quite an introverted little boy, so he will have a better experience.

They play on the swings, Ruth alternating between pushing the two of them. Eventually she gives up and shows Catherine how to help keep herself swinging by stretching and bending her legs. It takes a couple of tries, but eventually she gets it and is extremely pleased with herself. Once they're bored with that they have a few turns on the roundabout; until Ruth gets tired from pushing them. They try the seesaw but Graham doesn't like it because Catherine's heavier than him and he always ends up high in the air. So eventually, Ruth gives into Catherine's wish to go on the big slide. Graham is too young so they take Scarlett and play fetch with her just outside the railings so that she can keep Catherine in her eye line.

Scarlett runs off to sniff another dog, so Ruth turns her back on Catherine for a moment to shout at the dog. When she turns back, Catherine is nowhere to be seen. Ruth's heart stops in her chest, she casts her eyes around quickly but there is no sign of the little girl's distinctive pink coat. Ruth feels the panic rise in her; Harry will never forgive her if something happens to his daughter. Ruth isn't sure she'll ever forgive herself either.

Tying Scarlett to the railings and picking up Graham, she enters the play park shouting the little girl's name. "Catherine!" she calls, her eyes roaming the play equipment. There are more children here now and it's hard to see with so many of them about. She moves swiftly and methodically around the different pieces of equipment. "Catherine!" she calls again. A thought suddenly hits her, what if it's Jane? What if she's finished at Harry's and has come to snatch her children back? Instinctively she tightens her hold on Graham but pushes the thought away; Harry had said he would ring when he was finished with Jane, and she's had no phone call.

Suddenly, Ruth catches a glimpse of a pink coat and long blonde hair in the distance near the zip wire. She quickens her pace and when she catches up with the small figure she says her name again and grabs her by the arm. Catherine turns to face Ruth and sees a mixture of anger and relief on her face.

"Catherine, you shouldn't have wandered off like that; I told you to stay near the slide," she scolded, not too harshly.

Catherine's bottom lip begins to wobble. "I'm sorry Ruth, I forgot. And this looks like fun."

Ruth sighs. It's a tall order expecting a child of Catherine's age to obey instructions to the letter. She softens her expression; glad and relieved that she's found the young girl. She crouches down, placing Graham on the ground, but not letting go of his hand, and pushes Catherine's blond hair behind her ears. "I'm sorry if I sounded cross. I was just worried. One minute you were on the slide and then I couldn't see you. I thought I'd lost you."

"You're not going to tell Daddy are you? He'll be cross!"

"I think, if you try very hard to remember what I ask you to do from now on, then we won't have to tell him. Deal?"

Catherine nods. "Deal."

"Good. Now then, how about an ice cream?" They walk to the ice cream vendor and Ruth buys both children a cone. They both enjoy the treat, although most of Graham's ends up round his mouth. Once the ice creams are finished, they walk down to the pond where another family share the bread they've brought so that Catherine and Graham can feed the ducks. It takes all Ruth's restraint to stop herself pointing out that giving ducks bread isn't really, nutritionally, a good idea and that the bits that don't get eaten sink to the bottom of the pond and raise the pH level of the water, which isn't good for the other pond life. She just reminds herself of the simple pleasure that she gained from the same activity when she was young, when her father would take her to their local park.

They're making their way back towards the playground for another go on the swings when Ruth's mobile starts to ring. It's Harry; he wants them to return home.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think.

Also I have an idea for a little shoot off from this - set at Christmas as I skirted over it in the fic cos it wasn't the right time of year. It would be set in between chapters 11 and 12 and envision it being about 4/5 chapters itself. Would anyone be interested?


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** I am so sorry about the delay in this chapter, but I hope you all enjoyed the Christmas interlude...

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Ruth enters the house with Catherine and Graham, and they're met by Harry in the hallway. He puts on a brave face for the children but Ruth can tell he is worked up, and her heart goes out to him.

"Hi," he greets. "Did you have a nice time at the park?"

"Yeh!" enthuses Graham.

Catherine merely nods and looks around. "Is Mummy still here?"

"Yes, she's in the living room," says Harry wearily. Catherine begins to approach the door. "She can't stay long though, okay?" Harry adds. "Half an hour."

Catherine enters the room and Harry and Ruth listen as she begins to chat away to her Mum, telling her all about the park. Graham, however, hides behind Ruth's legs nervously.

"Go on Graham," urges Harry, but he doesn't move. "Graham!" Harry says more sternly, not wanting Jane to think he can't control his children. Graham holds onto Ruth's leg even tighter and Ruth can see that there is a chance Harry's stress will cause him to unintentionally lash out verbally at his son and that will just make things worse.

"I'll take him in," Ruth offers, picking him up. "Why don't you go and make us both a coffee," she suggests.

Harry pads down the hallway to the kitchen and Ruth takes Graham into the living room. Jane is obviously unimpressed by Ruth's relationship with Graham, scowling as she brings him in.

"Hi Graham. Did you have a good time at the park?"

Graham nods but doesn't say anything.

Ruth tries to put him down but he begins to whimper. "Sssh," she coos. "Don't cry. Mummy's come to see you. Now, I'm going to put you down and go and have a drink with Daddy. You can stay here with Catey and Mummy."

Ruth puts him down and he reluctantly lets go of her. With his thumb in his mouth he retrieves his blue teddy bear from the sofa and pulls himself up to sit in the corner, allowing Ruth to leave. She pulls the door closed a little behind her, but doesn't shut it fully.

Harry is waiting for her, sat on the stairs with two mugs of coffee. Ruth sits between his legs on the step below. Once she's settled he passes her her drink. "Were they okay?"

"Catherine was fine; Graham was a bit unsure…it'll take time, but they'll adjust; they're resilient kids."

"Hmmm," muses Harry noncommittally. "I should have known something like this would happen."

"You can't blame yourself, Harry."

"But that's just it Ruth, I think I can."

He says it with such certainty that Ruth leans her head back to look at him questioningly. "Why?" Harry is silent. "Harry?" she presses.

"I filed for divorce."

Ruth turns to him, shocked at his admission. "What? When?"

"I started the process just before Christmas. She's had the divorce petition through and isn't happy."

"Why?"

"I have no idea…because she lives in a fantasy world where she can just waltz back-"

Ruth cuts him off. "No. Why did you file for divorce?"

He looks at her. "Isn't that obvious?" Ruth blushes; it appears she understands. He clarifies just I case though; he doesn't want a misunderstanding about this. "I know we've not talked about the future but I hope that eventually, somewhere along the line, you'll want to marry me. I just want to be free when that day finally comes."

Ruth is overcome with emotion at his words. "Oh Harry I…I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. It wasn't a proposal. I just thought you should know what I see for us…somewhere in the future."

"I…I see the same things," she admits, pressing a kiss to his lips.

She turns back around and leans back against him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her. A comfortable silence falls over them as they revel in their new found vision for the future.

Eventually Ruth breaks the silence. "Why didn't you tell me you'd filed for divorce?" she asks.

"Our relationship was so new and I didn't want you to think that I was trying to rush things. I thought it would be easy enough to do it without you having to find out until it was done; I didn't want you to be involved in the baggage from my previous relationship. I never imagined Jane would just turn up like this."

"Harry, whatever baggage you have, I'm supposed to help with," she reminds. "We're a couple; that's what couples do.

"I know. I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"Apology accepted. So, what did Jane say?" Ruth asks.

Harry sighs. "Well there was no real explanation for her leaving; just that she was in 'a dark place'; whatever the hell that means. She wants regular access to the children…she's going to file for custody."

Ruth is outraged. "She can't be serious?!

"Oh she is," Harry confirms.

"That's ridiculous! She abandoned them for heaven's sake!"

"I know. But she refused to leave until she'd seen them so I told her she could have half an hour today and she could come back tomorrow for a couple of hours."

"That's generous."

"Well I don't want to do anything that will put my case in jeopardy. I don't believe judges look too kindly to parents who restrict or block access. So we need to play nice for the time being."

"Well, I'll try but I can't promise anything."

"You seem to have been doing a good enough job so far."

"Perhaps. But it's taking everything I have not to give her a piece of my mind." She's grown attached to Catherine and Graham over the past months and is fiercely protective of them. She'd even go as far to say she was beginning to love them as if they were her own.

"Well, she'll be gone soon and you don't have to be here tomorrow if you don't want to."

"No. I'll be here."

"I don't want you to think you have to-"

Ruth cuts him off. "Harry, what did I say not two minutes ago? We're a couple and I want to be here…for both you and the kids."

"Thank you."

They sit for a few more minutes in comfortable silence before Harry checks his watch. "That's her half an hour up now." Harry stands and makes his way to the living room. "Right you two, Mummy has to go now. She'll come back and see you tomorrow."

A few moments later Jane appears in the hallway, Catherine trailing behind her. "Will you stay longer tomorrow Mummy?" the young girl asks.

"A little longer," Jane assures.

As Jane and Catherine say goodbye, under Harry's supervision, Ruth notes that Graham hadn't followed them out of the living room. Entering, she finds him sat in the same place she had left him half an hour ago. He is still clutching his teddy bear and looks extremely unsure.

Ruth sits down next to him and he crawls over to her. "Gone?" he asks.

"Yes Mummy's gone." Graham clambers down from the sofa and goes back to his jigsaw that lies on top of the coffee table.

Catherine bounds back in and Ruth wonders for a moment what her reaction will be. Surprisingly, she takes it all in her stride; her next words proving that she has more pressing issues on her mind. "Is it time to ice the cakes now?!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

_Tuesday 13__th__ April 1999…_

Jane returns the following day and the next Sunday and the next. Over the coming weeks, Catherine and Graham begin to adjust to having their Mum back in their lives; Catherine more so than Graham but even he is getting there, slowly. Harry and Ruth adjust too, albeit not as much as the children. Harry is still very suspicious of Jane's motives and refuses to let her have unsupervised access to the children or to take them out.

As well as Jane's re-appearance, Harry is also trying to deal with Ruth's reluctance to tell the rest of the team about their relationship. Her argument is that they probably already suspect so what's the point in making a big announcement, but this fact also forms the basis of Harry's point. He doesn't want their relationship to be just a rumour, whispered through the hallowed halls of Thames House. They have something tangible, something real and he wants the whole world to know that they together and they're happy.

They have discussed the issue several times but they just keep going round in circles, just like tonight.

"Harry, we've been through this. I'm not ready."

"But it's been five months. If not now, then when?"

"I don't know Harry. I know how much you want to tell people but I'm not ready to stand up on the Grid and tell them."

"Why not? They've probably worked it out by now anyway!"

"Well then, if they already know what's the point of making a big deal out it. The only thing that will happen is that I will end up being the centre of attention and I hate that. I'll go as red as a beetroot and stammer and stumble my way through it….hardly an attractive sight. I have no wish to be talked about or thought of as someone who is sleeping with the boss to get to the top."

"Those who know you would never think that!"

"And what about those in the other sections; those who don't know me?" Harry sighs; he doesn't know what else to say. "It's not just my reputation I'm worried about," Ruth continues, "I don't want your position to become untenable."

"I can deal with whatever repercussions the powers that be may throw at us. I know where the bodies are buried remember."

Ruth gives up; there is no way they are going to resolve this tonight. "Just give me a little more time, Harry. Please. I promise I will think about it. Seriously think about it."

Harry can see in her eyes that she is genuine and this mollifies Harry and the rest of the night passes without incident.

* * *

_Wednesday 14__th__ April 1999…_

The next day is a quiet one on the Grid. So quiet that Ruth and Malcolm find themselves in the archives cataloguing and sorting; a job they have been meaning to get round to for a few weeks, but has been put off due to the high number of terror threats they have had. The task confines her and Malcolm to the archives for the whole morning meaning that she barely sees Harry; they manage to grab a few moments together for lunch but it's slightly awkward; the previous evenings discussion still hovering over them.

After their brief lunch, Ruth is back down in the archives. One thing the cataloguing does is give Ruth time to think. She knows that her stubborn reluctance to go public about her relationship with Harry is hurting him, but she simply can't bring herself to agree. She's had a work-place relationship previously. It had been brief, but the fall-out from it had been thoroughly unpleasant. The gossiping, the whispering, people stopping conversations as she had walked past them; she had no desire to go through that again. But she doesn't know how long she can keep putting it off; how long Harry will wait for her.

"Ruth, are you alright?" asks Malcolm.

Her colleague's voice brings her back from her thoughts. "Y-yes. I'm fine. Why?"

"Because you've been staring at the same file for the past ten minutes and, as extraordinary as you are, I'm sure even you can't read very well upside down."

Ruth's eyes snap to the file in her hands. Malcolm is right of course; it is upside down. She flushes red with embarrassment. "Sorry Malcolm, I was a little distracted."

"No need to apologise," he tells her, waving it away. "But this isn't like you Ruth. Are you sure everything is okay?"

Ruth smiles at his concern. "I've just got a few things on my mind at the moment, that's all."

"Harry?" The words are out of Malcolm's mouth before he can stop them and Ruth's blush deepens.

"What?"

Malcolm smiles at her. "Come on Ruth; it's pretty impossible to keep a secret in this place."

"H-how long have you known?"

"Since just before Christmas."

Ruth is flabbergasted. "How?"

"I've known Harry a long time; I noticed things. The lingering looks he gave you, the spring in his step."

"Oh God! Who else knows?"

"Well I can't say if anyone knows for certain; I try to steer clear of office gossip as well you know."

"But they suspect?" she asks, mortified at the thought. She and Harry may have discussed the possibility that their colleagues thought there was something going on between them but for Ruth, it had been more of an abstract theory; she hadn't had to face it head on before.

"They'd be fools if they didn't."

"Oh Malcolm! Please don't say anything!"

"I won't," he assures.

Ruth senses he wants to say more. "But?"

"I know it's not really any of my business but why are the two of you so keen to keep this a secret?"

"It's me," she admits shyly. "Harry would tell the world tomorrow but I'm…well, I'm scared."

"What on earth for?"

"People will talk. About me…about him. God Malcolm, the things they'll say!"

"People will talk anyway." He neglects to point out that actually they already are. He does tend to steer clear of gossip, but he's picked up bits; to coin a phrase Adam once used, some things pass in through his skin. "Leave people to their own devices and they will concoct the most sordid office romance scenario they can. Isn't it better to be open with them and show them that it isn't like that?"

"Maybe." Ruth shakes her head. "This is killing me, Malcolm. I can see how much this is hurting Harry and I know this will soon be the make or break point of our relationship; I doubt he'll wait much longer."

"Actually Ruth, I think he loves you so much that he'd wait forever if you asked him to…but is it really fair on him. Or you? Or the children?"

"That's….emotional blackmail."

"Quite possibly. But I can tell from the way he looks at you that he wants to build a life with you."

"He's said as much," Ruth admits, thinking back to their conversation on the stairs several weeks ago. "I…I want that too."

"Pretty hard to build a life if you can't even acknowledge that you are together. You and he lie for a living; you carry around enough secrets. A relationship that makes you happy shouldn't be tainted by secrecy."

Having said his piece, Malcolm turned back to his pile of folders, knowing that Ruth needed time to digest and analyse what he'd said.

* * *

When Ruth and Malcolm return to the Grid at half past three Harry isn't there.

"He had to nip out," Adam tells her when he notices her looking over towards their boss's office. There's a look in his eye that suggests he certainly suspects there is something more to her relationship with Harry.

Ruth fights the blush that threatens to creep up her face. "R-right. Did he say where?"

"No. He took a call and then rushed off the Grid; I don't think I've ever seen him move so fast."

"The Home Secretary?"

"Doubtful. When has Harry ever been eager to get to a meeting with him? No, whatever it was I'd say it was a personal matter."

Ruth can feel Adam's gaze on her, looking for some kind of reaction. She wonders how easy it would be just to tell him. There and then. She opens her mouth but, despite Malcolm's words from earlier repeating in her head, she can't bring herself to say it.

"R-right, well I guess I'll get on then." She returns to her desk and loads the latest report she is working on. She's been working for several minutes when she hears the whoosh of the pods. Instinctively, she lifts her head. Harry is there but he is not alone. Graham is sharing his pod with him. And in the adjacent one is Catherine.

Ruth freezes. With the children on the Grid there is little likelihood that their relationship can remain a secret.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

_Previously…_

_She's been working for several minutes when she hears the whoosh of the pods. Instinctively, she lifts her head. Harry is there but he is not alone. Graham is sharing his pod with him. And in the adjacent one is Catherine.__Ruth freezes. With the children on the Grid there is little likelihood that their relationship can remain a secret._

* * *

Moments later, Harry steps out, Graham holding tight to his hands.

"That was fun!" cries Catherine as she emerged from her pod. "Can we go in them again?"

"On the way home."

"This where Daddy works?" asks Graham. Several jaws drop on the Grid as members of the team try and assimilate what they know of 'Harry Pearce: Section Head' with 'Harry Pearce: father'.

"It is. My office is the one over there," Harry points, "with the big windows."

The children's eyes go wide as they take in the impressive sight that is their father's work place. As they look around Catherine's eyes fall on Malcolm. "Hi Uncle Malcolm."

"Hello young lady. Look how tall you are!"

"I'm seven now!" she announces proudly.

"I believe so."

With Catherine involved in discussion with Malcolm, and Harry pointing out various things in the office to Graham, Ruth manages to sneak off to the kitchen unnoticed. She leans against the counter and lets out a shaky breath. She's seething; she'd asked him to give her time to think about it and he had agreed. She can't believe he's stooped so low as to bring his children onto the Grid to force her to admit to their relationship. How could he do that to her?

She is making herself a drink and debating how best to handle the situation when Catherine's voice carries through to the kitchen. "Doesn't Ruth work with you Daddy? Is she here?"

"She's in the archives," Malcolm lies; she must remember to thank him later. He then tries to change the subject. "So Harry, about the latest threat assessment…"

Zaf is having none of it though and pipes up, "So you know Ruth do you?" His voice has a hint of a tease to it. From her place in the kitchen Ruth can't see much, but she can imagine the knowing look Zaf is giving Harry.

"Yeh!" Catherine's tone makes it quite clear to Zaf that it's obvious she knows Ruth and that she thinks it's a pretty stupid question. "She's Daddy's girlfriend."

At Catherine's words, the cup in Ruth's hand falls to the floor with a loud crash. She hears Harry question Malcolm. "Archives? Really?" and can hear his footsteps coming closer as she bends to pick up the broken china.

"Where are you going Daddy?" asks Graham.

"I won't be long, don't worry. You stay here with Uncle Malcolm…he was only telling me the other day how much he missed you two." Knowing Malcolm and his opinion on his own ability to interact with children, Ruth guesses it's Harry's way of punishing his lying.

She feels his presence in the doorway and is so distracted by it that she slices her hand on a fragment of the broken mug. Snatching it back in pain, she winces. Harry is at her side in less than a second.

"Are you alright?" he asks, as he helps her to the sink. She shrugs him off and rinses her wound under the tap. She watches transfixed as the blood mixes with the water and swirls down the plughole. Anything to avoid Harry's gaze. It doesn't take a genius to work out that she is upset with him, but Harry is more concerned about her injury. "Please let me see?" he asks retrieving the first aid kit from the cupboard. He reaches for her hand and she gives in to his soothing touch. He cleans it thoroughly and stems the bleeding, before dressing it gently. "Shouldn't need stiches," he tells her.

She snatches her hand away from him and mutters a curt "thanks".

"You're angry with me," he observes.

"Yes."

"Why?" he asks.

"Why do you think?"

He hazards a guess. "Because of Catey and Graham?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry Ruth but I didn't know what else to do. I…"

Ruth cuts him off. "You could have done what you said you'd do last night and give me time!"

"Wha-?"

Ruth is in no mood to listen. "But no, you had to be selfish and take it upon yourself to trap me into going public; and using your children to do it. H-how could you Harry? You knew how I felt about this!"

"You think I did this on purpose?" he asks. He can't believe she would think that of him.

"Of course."

He takes her by the shoulders and forces her to look into his eyes. "Listen to me Ruth. I did not plan this. Do you really think I would do that to you?"

Ruth isn't sure if she believes him. "Then why are they here?" she questions.

"I got a call at around two thirty from Claire. He grandfather is gravely ill and all the family have been summoned to the hospital. They don't think he'll last the night. She had to go and therefore couldn't pick the children up. It was too late for me to arrange for anyone else to do it so I went myself. Check my phone records if you like. I couldn't go straight home as I've got a few things I need to finish for the DG, so I decided to bring them in with me. We'll not be here more than about an hour. I didn't even think that they would see you. You said you'd be down in the archives until gone five. I'd have been gone by then."

"We finished early," she mutters, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Yes. Well when Catherine spotted Malcolm that I realised that. I tried to steer the children into the office, but I wasn't quick enough. For that I am sorry."

"So you didn't plan it?"

"No. I'll admit I was somewhat frustrated with your reluctance to tell but I respected your decision. I can't believe you thought I would go behind your back and try and trap you like that."

"No, neither can I now," she admits, embarrassed. Harry moves towards her and embraces her. "So…how do you want to deal with this?"

* * *

Ten minutes later Harry and Ruth appear back on the Grid, hand in hand. They'd decided that as they'd been outed by Catherine there wasn't much point in hiding anymore.

Adam is the first to spot them. "Well, it's about time." Ruth blushes and looks at the floor. She doesn't have much time to be embarrassed though; she is very quickly ambushed by Catherine and Graham.

"RUTH!" they chorus, running across the Grid to her. Dropping Harry's hand, she opens her arms and embraces them both as they chat away nineteen to the dozen trying to tell her about their day.

"Right," says Harry, addressing the Grid. "Listen up. What I am about to say I do not plan to repeat. I am aware that there have been several rumours floating around about the nature of mine and Ruth's relationship and, as my daughter has clearly confirmed those rumours, I want to clarify a few things." He feels Ruth tense slightly beside him, so takes her hand back and rubs his thumb over the back of hers. "Yes, Ruth and I are seeing each other. We have been for just over five months. But that doesn't change anything on the Grid. Now I want to make three things abundantly clear. One; this will not affect the running of this department, two; Ruth will receive no form of special treatment and three; if I hear anyone speaking out of turn about our relationship, I will personally ensure that those responsible are posted to the far reaches of Siberia. Or worse, over the river to 6. Is that understood?"

There were several murmurs of 'Yes Harry' from around the Grid.

"Good. Now then, if you'll excuse me I have a few things to finish up and then I shall be taking my children home."

"Will Ruth be coming too?" asks Catherine.

Ruth feels the eyes of the team on her, waiting expectantly. "Go on then, why not?" she agrees, gaining a smile from the young girl. "It's been a quiet enough today to warrant an early dart I think."

"Right then, come on you two, these people have work to do." Harry addresses his children, trying to shepherd them into his office.

"Can't we stay out here with Ruth?" Catherine whines.

"Pwease!" echoes Graham.

Harry looks at Ruth. "It's fine by me," she tells him. "You'll get more done if they're not there to distract you anyway," she reasons.

"Yay!" the children chorus and allow Ruth to lead them to her desk. Malcolm rustles up an extra chair and Catherine sits next to Ruth and diligently begins her homework, while Graham curls up on her lap and begins to doze off. Luckily she manages to keep her right arm free so she can sign off on some reports and information requests.

She can see Jo glancing at her from the next desk and when Catherine goes to ask Malcolm a question, she calls her on it. "Do you have something you want to say Jo?"

She's embarrassed at being caught but answers truthfully. "Just that you look happy."

"I am," Ruth tells her with a smile.

Jo returns her smile. "Good. You deserve to be. It suits you."

Their conversation is cut short by Harry emerging from his office, his coat on. "Ready to go?" he asks Ruth, taking Graham from her arms.

"Nursery is really taking it out of him," Ruth comments as she retrieves her own coat. Graham had started nursery 3 days a week when the schools started again the previous Monday after the Easter holidays. Claire had reported that he'd fallen asleep almost as soon as he got home the previous two afternoons and now they were seeing it for themselves.

"Well he's got some days off now. I just hope the break doesn't affect the way he seems to have settled in."

Ruth gives his arm a reassuring squeeze, "I'm sure he'll be fine, stop worrying."

With Harry carrying Graham and Ruth's arms around Catherine's shoulders they leave The Grid discussing a very domestic topic; what they should have for tea. Jo watches them and her smile grows. Harry looks happy too, she muses. Yeh, they're good for each other and she's glad they're making a go of it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

_Saturday 1st May 1999..._

It's two months after Jane's reappearance, and two weeks since going public at work, when Ruth is roused from her slumber by a loud knocking at her door. Her spook instincts cause her to practically jump from the bed. She looks at the clock. 8.25; the latest she has slept in over a week. Taking her robe from the back of the door she wraps it around her.

Catherine and Graham are staying with her, as Harry had what he had envisioned to be an all-night meeting in Whitehall, so as she passes their door she looks in to see if the noise has disturbed them. It hasn't. Graham is sprawled out on the bottom of the bunk bed Ruth had purchased several weeks previously, arms and legs everywhere, snoring softly, while Catherine is curled up in the foetal position above. Both sleeping soundly on; shattered after a late night treat of films and popcorn.

The loud knock comes again followed by her mother's voice. "Ruth, are you home?"

Ruth tightens the belt of her robe before throwing the door open. Her mother and stepfather stand on the other side. "Mum, are you trying to wake the whole neighbourhood?" Ruth asks, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Sorry sweetheart, but we've been knocking for a good five minutes."

"I was asleep," she tells them, as she greets them both with a hug and invites them in.

"It's not like you. You're normally awake with the birds."

"Late night," Ruth replies. "Coffee?" They nod and Ruth leads them through to the kitchen, shutting the door so as not to disturb the children, and they sit down at the table. "I don't mean to be rude but, what are you doing here? You never said you were coming to London when we spoke on Thursday." The traditional birthday phone call had yielded no mention of an impending visit.

"No, well it's sort of a last minute thing. You remember Marjorie and Derek; they moved to London last year?" Ruth nods; she vaguely remembers the names but she hasn't the foggiest who they are. But she daren't tell her Mum that; she'll just insist she does know them and remind her of several occasions where she's met them, but Ruth will still be none the wiser. She may as well save them both the breath. "Well, they had tickets for Phantom in the West End, but the couple they were going with have had to drop out so they invited us instead. And we thought that while we were here we'd…"

"…drop in on me," Ruth finishes for them, as the kettle boils.

"Exactly. We thought we could take you out to lunch."

"For your birthday," adds David.

"That sounds lovely; I just wished you'd mentioned it. I kind of have plans for today you see."

"Oh, anything interesting?" Ruth has been dreading this question. She hasn't mentioned her relationship to Harry to her mother or stepfather as she's not quite sure how they would take the fact that he has children and that, technically, he's still married.

"Well I'm going out tonight, a sort of belated birthday celebration and this afternoon I…"

"Anywhere special?" interrupts David.

"Pardon?"

"Tonight…are you going anywhere special?"

"Erm…Roussillon; it's a small French restaurant in…Belgravia."

"Very nice," remarks David.

Her mother fixes her with a knowing look. "Belgravia, eh? I doubt you're going there with work colleagues. So, who is he?"

Ruth sighs; there's no getting out of this now and besides, she needs to tell them. "Harry. His name's Harry."

"And?"

"And what?"

"I'm sure you can tell us more than that. How did you two meet?"

"We work together," Ruth leaves out the part about him being her boss; it sounds too sordid, even though it's nothing of the sort.

"He works at the Home Office too?" David clarifies.

"Yeh, that's right," agrees Ruth; the lie falling from her tongue easily.

"How long have you been seeing him?" asks Elizabeth.

"Just over six months."

"And we're only just hearing about him now?"

"Well, it's…" Ruth searches for a word, "complicated."

"How complicated?"

At that moment the kitchen door opens and a half-awake Graham pads in. "Ruuuuth! I'm thirsty."

When he looks up, he sees two unfamiliar faces staring at him and, although he is less nervous around strangers than he was, he is still unnerved by it. He sidles over to Ruth, and looks to her for reassurance.

"Good morning sweetheart," she says, lifting him up and sitting him on the counter. "Did you sleep well?" she asks, as she gets his cup from the cupboard.

Graham nods, his eyes flicking back to the two older people in the room. "Who are they?" he points as Ruth hands him a drink.

"It's okay Graham. This is my Mum and Step-Dad. Mum, David; this is Graham…Harry's son."

"He has a child?"

"Two actually," Ruth corrects before turning to Graham. "Is your sister still asleep?"

Graham nods. "Yup. She's snoring!"

"I don't snore!" retorts an obviously no longer sleeping Catherine indignantly as she appears in the kitchen, causing Ruth to chuckle.

"Good morning, Catey," chuckles Ruth, as she pours another drink for the young girl.

Catherine takes a seat at the table, and finally registers the presence of the other adults. "H-hello."

"Catey, this is my Mum and Step-Dad," Ruth explains.

"Oh right. Hi," beams Catherine.

"Hello," greets Ruth's mum, gradually getting over her shock at finding out that her daughter is seeing someone with children. She watches as Ruth busies herself getting breakfast for Graham and Catherine, marvelling at how well practised she is at it, and how much she seems to take pleasure from even the simplest tasks. Turning back to Ruth she says, "Am I to take it that this is why you can't come to lunch?"

"Yeh, I can't go until Harry gets back but even then I expect he'll need to sleep; he's been working all night. Are you staying over tonight; could we do lunch tomorrow?" she suggests.

"That's an idea," agrees David.

"Okay, we'll call you tomorrow," Elizabeth agrees, making to leave.

"You don't have to go," Ruth says buttering toast for the children. "Stay for a while, please. We don't have any specific plans."

Elizabeth looks around at the domestic scene in front of her and decides she wants to see more of this side of her daughter and meet the mysterious Harry. "Okay," she agrees.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_Still Saturday 1__st__ May 1999…_

It's quarter to ten when Harry finally arrives, letting himself in with the key Ruth had given him several weeks earlier in response to him giving her one to his house.

He walks into the living room to find Ruth curled up on the sofa with a book, whilst an unknown woman is sewing with Catherine and an unknown gentleman is playing trains with Graham.

"Hi," he announces himself. Ruth greets him with a smile.

"Hi," replies Catherine without looking up from her task.

"Daddy!" beams Graham and abandons his train set and rushes over to him. Harry picks him up and twirls him round.

"Have you been good for Ruth?"

"Yup!" he insists, and Harry looks to Ruth for confirmation.

"They've been fine. How was your meeting?"

"Fine; finished about four thirty." Ruth looks at him questioningly; he knows what she's asking. Why didn't he come round once his meeting had finished? He leans down to kiss her briefly, still conscious of the visitors, and whispers in explanation, "I didn't want to wake you."

She returns the brief kiss with a smile before introducing her mother and David.

Harry extends his hand, first to Elizabeth and then David, "It's nice to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

"I wish we could say the same about you," Elizabeth comments

"Mum!"

"I just wished you told me sooner. I mean, I'm not an ogre. I do know what it's like to take on another person's children, remember?"

"I know, and I've apologised. Can we drop it now?"

"Mrs Shaw, I feel I may have had a part to play in keeping our relationship from you." Ruth glances at him, wondering what on earth he is doing. He had nothing to do with it; it was completely her decision. "You see, I wanted to protect the children; I didn't want them to grow attached to you and your husband, in case things between Ruth and I didn't work out. The more people they would have lost, the harder it would have been for them. I'm sure, as a mother who has been in a similar situation, you can understand that."

Elizabeth falls for Harry's lie hook, line and sinker. "Oh, of course. Yes, yes. I understand completely. It can be so difficult to navigate a new relationship when you have children, can't it?"

Ruth cannot believe her mother has bought it and is grateful to Harry for stepping in like he did, but eager to change the subject before he gets caught out, she steers the conversation in a different direction.

"Mum and David have offered to take me out for lunch tomorrow, for my birthday," she tells Harry. "You don't expect we'll be needed in work do you?"

"Barring any emergencies, I think you should be fine," Harry tells her. Even if there were an emergency, he'd be tempted to put off calling her until her lunch had finished. She didn't see enough of her family; none of them did in their job.

"You and the children should come too," Elizabeth suggests to Harry.

"It's very kind of you to invite us, but I'm afraid we'll have to decline. Catey and Graham see their Mum on a Sunday."

"Oh right…I'm sorry I just assumed that their mum was d-"

Ruth, on realising what her mother is about to say, cuts her off in the nick of time. "Mum! Can you help me with something…in the kitchen." Elizabeth looks hesitant, but Ruth insists. "Now!"

* * *

In the safety of her kitchen, Ruth relates the story of Jane's abandonment and subsequent reappearance to her mother.

"Oh how awful!" she gasps. "Those poor children."

Ruth nods. "But she's suing for custody, so Harry has to show he is being fair with access and such like."

"Surely no judge in their right mind would give her custody? Not after she walked out like that."

"Oh who knows?! But Harry, understandably, doesn't want to do anything that may adversely affect his chances."

"Of course," Elizabeth nods. "It's right that he should do everything in his power to keep his children. It's still a shame that they can't join us for lunch I'm sure there'll be other opportunities. Perhaps you could all come up one Saturday and spend the day in Cheltenham; we'd love to have you."

Ruth nods. "That sounds lovely. Thanks Mum…and I am sorry I didn't tell you about me and Harry. I…"

Elizabeth puts her hand on Ruth's shoulder and smiles. "I understand Ruth, really. You've always been a very private person…and although I admit I would prefer it if you would confide in me more, I've come to accept that that probably won't happen."

* * *

_Sunday 2__nd__ May 1999…_

Ruth's Mum and David take her to a local carvery for lunch, only 10 minutes from her house. It's completely different atmosphere than the restaurant Harry took her to, but she enjoys it just the same. The food is delicious and the conversation flows easily; the three of them catching up on each other's lives, and Ruth catching up on what's happening with her step-brother, Peter.

Ruth's mobile rings as the desserts arrive at the table. She glances at the caller ID as she retrieves it from her bag; it's Harry. She answers it and can hear Catherine crying in the background.

"Harry?"

"Ruth I'm sorry to interrupt your lunch, but-"

"It's fine," she assures. "What is it? What's happened?"

"Jane didn't turn up to see the kids. Catherine's hysterical; she won't calm down and…I don't know what to do Ruth; I didn't know who else to call. I've never seen her like this before."

"Sit tight Harry. I'll be right there."

Ruth apologises to her mother and David and, leaving her banoffee pie, she rushes out of the restaurant.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

_Still Sunday 2__nd__ May 1999…_

When Ruth arrives at Harry's she can hear Catherine screaming, even though the front door. Added to Scarlet's barking, it made for a very noisy reception.

"I DON'T WANT YOU! I WANT MUMMY!"

She lets herself in in time to hear Harry reply, "Well Mummy's not here so you'll have to put up with me." He's speaking to her like she's one of his subordinates on the Grid, which Ruth knows won't be helping the situation.

Following the shouting and crying she climbs the stairs and finds Graham sat on the landing, watching Harry as he shouts through Catherine's bedroom door. Graham looks up as she stands on a creaky floorboard, and he looks relieved to see her. "Ruth!"

Harry whips round at the sound of her name and his face mirrors that of his son; the relief obvious. "Thank God you're here."

"What's going on?"

"She began to get upset when her Mum didn't arrive. I tried to ring Jane to find out where she was, but there was no answer. At that point she began to scream and shout. She kicked out and eventually lay down on the floor, pounding her fists. She was like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I sent her to her room to calm down, and she began to throw things around, it was like she had lost control. She's sat behind the door to stop me getting in."

"Do you want me to try and speak to her?" Nodding, Harry steps away from the door. Ruth takes this to mean that he does. "You take Graham downstairs," she instructs. "He doesn't need to hear this."

Harry scoops Graham up and does as Ruth wishes, taking him into the living room and setting up his train set.

Ruth takes a deep breath and knocks on Catherine's door.

"GO AWAY!" Catherine screams.

"Catey, it's me…Ruth. Will you open the door?"

"NO!" Ruth tries the door; but it barely moves. Catherine is still sat behind it.

"I know you're upset Catey and that's okay…"

"Go away!" she shouts again.

"Come on Catey. If you let me in we can talk about it and-"

"I don't want to talk to you!"

Ruth takes a deep breath. "I really think that-"

"I don't care cos YOU'RE NOT MY MUMMY!"

Her words hit Ruth like a punch to the stomach and she backs away from the door, bumping into Harry who had returned after settling Graham. She turns to face him and registers the shocked look on his face. It's as if he can't believe what he has heard. When he finally comes to his senses he is very angry with his daughter.

"Catherine Pearce, come out here this instant!" he growls.

"NO!"

"I am going to count to five and if you don't open this door I am going to take it off its hinges."

"Go away! I hate you! Both of you!"

"Harry, stop it!" Ruth pleads, knowing it won't be helping the situation.

"One."

Nothing

"Two"

Still nothing.

"Three."

"Harry this really isn't necessary. She's angry-"

Again, Harry ignores her. "Four"

There is a slight shuffling behind the door but no discernible movement.

"Five." As soon as Harry reaches five they hear Catherine move away from the door and further into the room. Harry enters and finds Catherine curled up in a ball on her bed facing the wall, sobbing.

Ruth hovers in the doorway, watching Harry as he gazes down at his daughter. He is lost. He's never seen this side to his daughter before and doesn't know how to handle it. Tentatively, she takes a couple of steps into the room and places her hand on Harry's back. "Stay calm," she tells him. "I'll be downstairs with Graham."

With that she takes her leave.

* * *

Half an hour later, Harry re-appears downstairs. Graham's train set has been discarded and he is curled up on the sofa with Ruth as she reads to him.

"Hi," he whispers, despondently.

"Hi," Ruth greets, looking up from the book. "Did you get anywhere?"

He shakes his head. "She's not talking to me. She just lay there crying. I talked though; told her that her behaviour was unacceptable. Don't know if she was really listening."

"Best to just let her calm down. Once she has, you'll be able to speak to her properly."

"Catherine's naughty!" Graham pipes up from next to Ruth.

Ruth and Harry tactfully ignore him and he clambers down off the sofa and returns to his train set. Harry sits down in his vacated seat and turns to Ruth. "I'm sorry for what she said."

"It's okay," Ruth assures, but Harry knows she is lying; he can see it in her eyes.

"It's not," he insists.

"But it's true. I'm not her mother."

"That is not the point. I know it hurt you; I can tell."

"It did. But I shouldn't have let it. I got too close; too attached. I…"

"No. She didn't mean the things she said; she adores you. You must know that?"

"I thought I did, but now…Anyway, you two must be hungry. How about I throw us together some pasta?" She is off the sofa and in the kitchen before Harry can reply.

* * *

Catherine doesn't join them for dinner but Harry takes a plate up for her. When he returns to get it before loading the dishwasher it is half empty, which relieves him a little – at least she is eating. She is sprawled out on the bed, snoring lightly. It's only 7.30 but it seems her tantrums have tired her out.

He and Ruth put Graham to bed together; something they rarely do but both of them feel the need to be connected to at least one of the children after Catherine's harsh words earlier in the day. Once he is asleep Ruth and Harry curl up together on the sofa. They agree that she will stay the night, something that doesn't usually happen when they have work the next day. But they want to present a united front to Catherine tomorrow. As it nears 10.30, Ruth announces she is going to bed to read. Harry nods, tells her he'll be up after the late news before kissing her. Halfway through the bulletin, Harry hears footfalls on the stairs.

"Daddy?" Catherine's voice is small, muffled from sleepiness, as she enters the living room. He looks at her; her eyes are red and puffy from crying and she has tears stains on her cheeks.

"Yes Catey?"

"I'm sorry."

"What exactly are you sorry for?" He isn't going to let her fob him off with a blanket apology; he wants to be sure that she understands what she has done wrong.

"For shouting and throwing things. For saying I hated you. I didn't mean it Daddy. I love you!" She's getting upset again and begins to sniffle.

"I know you do," Harry assures and kisses the top of her head. They sit cuddled together for a few moments while Catherine calms down. When she has done so, Harry continues, "I think there's someone else you need to apologise to as well, isn't there? You shouldn't have spoken to Ruth like that. It wasn't very nice, was it?"

Catherine shakes her head and then looks around. "Where is she? Has she left?" There is a hint of panic in Catey's voice and Harry knows she is thinking that she's driven her away.

"She's upstairs, reading. I'm sure she won't mind if you go up and see her though."

"Will you come with me?" Catey asks, worry evident in her voice.

Harry switches off the television and stands. "Of course."

As they climb the stairs Catherine slips her small hand into her father's much larger one and they approach the bedroom hand in hand. Harry knocks tentatively before peering round the door.

"How many times; you don't need to knock on your own door," Ruth chides as he enters with Catherine.

"I thought you might have dozed off and I didn't want to disturb you. As you are still awake though, Catherine has something she would like to say."

Ruth places her copy of Persuasion on the bedside table and sits up. Harry nods at his daughter to go on.

Catherine takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"For?" prompts Harry.

"For shouting at you and telling you to go away. For saying I hated you."

"Apology accepted."

"I don't hate you Ruth," Catherine stresses as the tears come once more. "I don't know why I said I did."

"It's okay."

"Please don't go!" Catherine cries.

Ruth is confused by the sudden shift in conversation. "Go?! Why would I go?"

"Because I said mean things so you won't want me anymore."

And suddenly Ruth sees the child's logic. Her mum had left when she was good so why would Ruth stay if she was naughty. She opens her arms to the little girl. "Come here." Catherine runs to her and clings to her for dear life. "It's okay," Ruth soothes. "I'm not going to leave."

"Promise?" she sniffs, looking up at Ruth.

"I promise," Ruth assures. She holds the young girl tight against her as her she sobs, rubbing comforting circles on her back. Sensing Ruth and Catherine need some time, Harry excuses himself to get ready for bed.

Not long after, Catherine falls asleep, snuggled against Ruth. When Harry emerges from the bathroom, he moves to lift his daughter from the bed and take her back to her own room, but Ruth shakes her head. "Leave her," she suggests.

Harry does as he is bid and climbs into bed next to them. "She okay?" he asks.

Ruth nods. "She'll be fine."

"I could kill Jane," Harry hisses.

"Did you manage to get hold of her?"

He shakes his head. "No. No answer at home and her mobile is going to voicemail."

"Try again tomorrow?" suggests Ruth.

"Oh yes. I shall be putting several of the Grid's resources to use in the morning."

Ruth rolls her eyes. "Well in that case, we'd better get some sleep." She leans over, careful not to wake Catherine, and kisses him gently. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight sweetheart, and thank you." He kisses her again. She rewards him with a small smile and the two of them fall quickly to sleep, flanking Catherine protectively on either side.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **Just to say that if you haven't already seen it, there's now another interlude to this fic which focusing on mother's day. It's called 'A Complicated Mother's Day' and is set between chapters 16 and 17 of this.

* * *

**Chapter 22**

_Monday 3__rd__ May 1999…_

Ruth enters Harry's office the next morning to find him on the phone.

"Well that's just not good enough!" he growls at the person on the other end. Ruth watches and sees his expression darken at their reply. "Well don't put yourself out," he comments sarcastically before slamming the phone down. He leans back in his chair and lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Everything okay?" Ruth asks gently, hoping it's nothing major. She is bringing him bad news so his mood is vital. She'd rather not have this conversation if he's in a temper, but she has no choice.

"That was Jane."

Ruth sighs internally; this isn't good. "You managed to get hold of her then?"

"Eventually."

"What did she say?" enquires Ruth.

"She couldn't come yesterday because she was in another 'dark place'; I've still not worked out what the hell that means – and that she 'might be able to make it next Sunday' but she'll 'have to see'. He sighs again. "What the hell am I supposed to tell Catey?"

Ruth approaches him and places her hand on his arm in comfort. "I don't know Harry."

"No, neither do I and that's the problem. I really don't need this today; not with the Home Secretary breathing down my neck for the latest threat assessments."

"Yeh, about that…" Ruth begins, chewing on her bottom lip.

"I'm not going to like this am I?" Harry surmises.

"Probably not. It seems there was a systems failure sometime overnight last night. The emergency system kicked in but one of the main servers was damaged…the one with all the work I'd done on the threat assessment. It's all gone Harry."

Harry's face blanches. "Please tell me you're joking?"

"I'm afraid not."

"All of it?" he asks. Ruth nods. "Can we retrieve it?"

"Malcolm and Colin have been trying for the last hour with no luck."

"You've got a back-up though; you must have."

Ruth bites her lip. "Normally I would have but I was in a bit of a rush to leave on Friday and I…"

"For God's sake Ruth!" Harry yells. "That's nearly a whole week's worth of work! How could you be so…" he trails off, frustration getting the better of him.

Ruth is hurt by his outburst. He's shouted at her before but not for a while, and not like this. "So what?" she retorts. "So stupid? So careless? In case you've forgotten, the reason I was rushing around in the first place was to pick your children up!"

"Yes but-"

Ruth cuts him off; she doesn't want to talk to him. "Don't worry Harry. I'll re-do the work; I've still got all the notes. You'll have it for the Home Secretary by the end of the day."

She turns away from him and storms out of the office; wishing it had a door to slam for greater emphasis. Returning to her desk she has a face like thunder.

"Everything okay?" Jo asks.

"Lover's tiff," guesses Ros, earning her a glare from Ruth.

"Malcolm!" Ruth calls across the Grid. "Any look with those files?"

"Not as yet," he replies, approaching her desk. "Harry didn't take it well then?" he asks, noticing the look on her face.

"You could say that."

"Did you explain what happened?"

"He didn't really give me chance," Ruth replies sadly.

"I'm sorry Ruth; I should have remembered to back the files up for you like I said I would. I'll speak to him."

"Don't worry about it Malcolm, it's done now. Anyway, I should have been more organised." She flashes him a tight smile before nodding at the computer. "I'd better get on; let me know if you have any luck retrieving anything."

"Will do," he replies nodding.

* * *

That afternoon, Ruth is still at her desk, typing away furiously whilst everyone else is in the briefing room. She's been there since her argument with Harry, having worked non-stop; not even breaking for lunch. She's feeling hungry and she knew she needed to eat; she'd skipped breakfast that morning too, but after Harry's reaction to her this morning, she was determined to finish the threat assessment and not to be accused of slacking.

"Where's Ruth?" Harry asks his assembled team. He's just returned from Whitehall and his mood has darkened even more, something most of them hadn't thought was possible.

"She's still working on the threat assessment," Jo informs him. Her tone tells him in no uncertain terms that she is not impressed with the way he handled the situation with Ruth earlier.

"Right, well Adam, make sure you brief her about this afterwards," he asserts before beginning the briefing.

Once the meeting, which concerned that state of relations between Israel and Palestine, is over, Harry dismisses the team. The majority of the team are keen to escape, but Malcolm however, lingers. Sensing his old friend's presence, Harry asks, "Do you wish to say something Malcolm?" He barely raises his head from the file in front of him.

"It's probably not my place, but…" he waits for Harry to send him away with a flea in his ear but his boss is silent, "I'm not sure you were very fair on Ruth earlier. I don't know exactly what you said to her, but I do know this; what happened was a system error. It wasn't Ruth's fault."

"Your defence of your colleague is noble Malcolm, but she should still have had a back-up; she knows the policy."

"Yes, but we all know that the process is archaic and takes an age. Look, you weren't here on Friday afternoon; you don't know what it was like. Ruth was inundated with information requests from the CIA as well as trying to finish the threat assessment and before she knew it, it was gone six. She began to get flustered; she didn't want to be late picking up Catherine and Graham because she knew your nanny had plans. I was staying late anyway working on the new micro listening devices; they're coming along quite nicely. We've managed to get the feedback down and the levels of…"

"Is there a point to this Malcolm?" Harry asks, getting irritated.

"Yes. Sorry Harry. Anyway, as I was staying late, I offered to do the back-up for Ruth so that she could get off but I forgot. It completely slipped my mind in amongst all the discoveries with the listening devices."

"You couldn't have told me this earlier?"

"Ruth insisted she come and tell you herself. I didn't put up much of a fight because, well, I assumed you take it better coming from her. Apparently I was wrong. With your meeting at Whitehall, this is the first chance I've had to speak to you about it."

Harry drops his head into his hands. "Shit!"

Before he can say anything else the briefing room door flies open and Adam rushes in. "Harry! You need to come. Ruth's fainted."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: **Sorry about the wait. If it's any consolation (which it probably isn't) I really enjoyed reading all your comments/reviews on this. Now, I'll stop keeping you in suspense and let you read the chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Harry and Malcolm rush out onto the Grid behind Adam to find Ruth lying on the floor by the printers; Zaf and Jo hovering around her. They've lifted her legs; propping them on a chair to help the blood flow back to her brain. There's a small pool of blood forming next to her head; it appears she caught her head on the corner of the table as she fell.

Harry approaches her and kneels down. "Ruth?" He takes her hand; rubbing it to try and wake her.

"The duty doctor is on her way up," Ros informs them as she puts the phone down.

Ruth's eyelids begin to flicker and she lets out a small whimper. "She's waking up," observes Jo.

"Right," says Adam decisively, "let's give her some room to breathe shall we?" Everyone backs away leaving just Harry by her side. As she wakes fully, Ruth looks around and takes in the situation; becoming startled as she realises she is on the floor. She tries to sit up but Harry shakes his head and lowers her back to the ground.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he tells her.

"What happened?"

"You fainted. I don't know much else; I was in the briefing room being informed by Malcolm how much of an idiot I had been." He smiles at her. "Why didn't you tell me Malcolm had offered to back up the system for you?"

Ruth shrugs. "Because it was my job."

"Ruth I-"

Harry is cut off by Zaf, "The doc is here!"

Sally Chapman approaches Ruth and Harry and is quickly briefed on what happened. "Well first things first we need to get that cut cleaned up and then we can try and find out what caused you to pass out in the first place. Is there somewhere more private we can go?" she asks Harry.

"You can use my office," Harry offers. He helps Ruth to her feet and supports her to make her way across the Grid.

"Thank you Harry, that will be all," Sally says once he's sat Ruth down on the sofa in the corner of his office.

"But I thought…you see Ruth and I…"

"I am well aware of the nature of your relationship with Miss Evershed. However, that does not give you the right to dictate how I see my patients. Out you go."

Harry is about to challenge her but Ruth jumps in. "I'll be fine Harry, honestly," she tells him with a smile. Harry gives her a tight smile in return before reluctantly leaving his office. He is not impressed with Sally's attitude and makes a mental note to report her to her superiors at a later date.

"Right then," asks Sally once he has left. "I'm guessing by the fact that you were so eager to get rid of him, that you haven't told him yet?"

Ruth looks down, slightly ashamed. "I've not found the right time. He's had a lot going on…we both have."

"Ruth; you're pregnant; you can't keep this a secret forever. You need to tell him; not only as your partner but as your boss."

"I know. I will." Ruth had been to see Sally the previous Tuesday after she'd experienced several episodes of nausea. Sally had confirmed her suspicions almost immediately; she was pregnant. It had taken her a while to get her head around but once she had gotten over the shock, she was pleased by the news. She had wanted to tell Harry when he took her out for her birthday, but when it came to it she couldn't find the words. She had been struck dumb by panic; she might have been happy about this but that didn't mean Harry would be. They hadn't planned this and he already had two children; there was no guarantee he would want more so she had no clue how he would react. Best not to tell him in a public place she had reasoned. Then with her mother's arrival and everything that had happened with Catherine, there just hadn't been time.

"Well, something tells me it's going to come out after this. So, what happened?" Sally asks as she begins to treat Ruth's wound.

"I stood up to- Ow!

"Sorry; this might sting a little."

"Yeh, thanks. So I stood up to get something from the printer and the room started spinning. I went very warm and my legs felt very heavy, and I began to fall. The next thing I remember is waking up on the floor."

"Hmm. What have you had to eat today?"

Ruth is silent.

"Ruth?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing at all?" she asks as she applies steri-strips to the cut on Ruth's forehead.

"No. I skipped breakfast and planned to get something when I got to work but then all hell was breaking loose. I was thrown straight in and have been working non-stop since."

"Ruth, you have to eat; especially in your condition."

"I know!" Ruth snaps. "I didn't purposefully not eat – I just lost track of time."

"Well you need to keep track of time better – no more skipping meals."

Sally asks more questions and seems pleased with Ruth's answers; her morning sickness is virtually non-existent and every other day she's been feeling fine. She takes some blood, "Just to be on the safe side," and then packs up. "I'll send Harry in shall I?"

Ruth takes a deep breath, "I suppose you better had yes."

"I'm also going to send someone out to get you some proper food."

She exits the office leaving Ruth alone to work out what exactly she was going to say to Harry.

He enters moments later, concern etched on his face. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine. Low blood sugar; I've not eaten yet today."

"Yeh, Sally mentioned it. She's sent Zaf out to get you some food." Ruth winces at the thought of what her exuberant colleague will return with; some experimental Japanese dish probably. "Don't worry," adds Harry seeing the look on her face, "I made Jo go with him; she should hopefully reign him in."

Ruth gives him a small smile.

"I'm sorry I was ratty earlier," he mutters.

"Has your temper gone away now?"

"It was scared away at the sight of you lying on that floor with blood seeping from your head."

"Good, because there's something I need to tell you…"

* * *

**A/N:** Yeh, another cliff-hanger; I'm horrible aren't I?


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** Thanks for all your reviews on this. I'm glad you like the direction this is going. I honestly hadn't planned for Ruth to get pregnant in this fic but my fingers just started typing and a couple of thousand words later she was! I know that some of you think it's too soon. Part of me does too, if I'm honest, but this is where the characters are taking it, so I've got to run with it. I'm sure there will be implications for them further down the line because they are relatively new to a relationship.

Also the first line of this fic has taken on new meaning to me after watching the latest episode of 'Heading Out' in which Nicola Walker is starring. Those who have seen it will understand, those who haven't…what are you waiting for? Nicola is amazing in it!

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me…

* * *

**Chapter 24**

_Previously…_

_"Has you temper gone away now?"_

_"It was scared away at the sight of you lying on that floor with blood seeping from your head."_

_"Good, because there's something I need to tell you…" _

She takes a deep breath. "I'm pregnant," she tells him, her eyes meeting his at the last second.

"You're…what?"

"Pregnant," she repeats, slightly amused by his shock.

"H-how?"

"Do I really need to draw you a diagram?" she teases.

"Of course not, but we've been careful…used protection."

"We have," she agrees, "but no form of contraception is one hundred per cent safe."

"Do you know when it happened?"

"Not for sure but Sally thinks about 7 or 8 weeks. Apparently they'll confirm at my first scan."

"Hells bells!"

Ruth bites her lip. "Are you angry?"

"What? No! Just…surprised."

"Good. I was worried about how you'd take it; it is rather soon."

"I'm just…in shock I think. I wasn't expecting this." They sit in silence for a moment before a though occurs to him. "You seem surprisingly calm about it?"

"Yes well, I've had a couple of days to get used to the idea."

"A couple of days?! When did you know? And why didn't you tell me?"

"I found out last Tuesday. It was a shock to me too and it took me a couple of days to get my head around it. Once I had, I decided to tell you when we went out for my birthday but I lost my nerve. Then everything happened with Catherine and Jane and I didn't think it was the right time. I'm sorry I kept it from you."

"It's okay; I understand that you would need to take time to analyse it beyond recognition."

That earns him a playful smack on the arm. "I'm not that bad!" Harry raises his eyebrow at her. "Okay, fine. I'll admit I did keep trying to analyse it, but the more I tried, the more I had this overwhelming feeling of love for our child. In the end I gave up trying to think with my head and let my heart tell me what was right."

"So you've made a decision about what to do?"

"No," she says, taking his hand. "We have to make this decision together; you're as much as part of this as I am. But…I do know what I want."

"Which is?"

"To have this baby. I know it's too soon, that we're probably not ready, that our jobs aren't really conducive to child-rearing, and that's there's the custody battle to think of but I can't bear to think of aborting our child; a child who came from an act of love between us. Besides, we already have two children so one more can't make that much of a difference, can it?"

Harry is silent for a moment and Ruth thinks he's going to disagree with what she said, but he isn't. In truth he'd made his mind up that he wanted this baby as soon as she'd told him she was pregnant. His silence is due to the fact that his brain keeps replaying her last sentence over and over; she referred to Catey and Graham as 'their' children.

"Harry, if you don't want this then I…" Ruth begins, but he cuts her off.

"I do."

"Y-you do?"

"Yes. I'll admit that when Catherine and Graham were first born, I was somewhat of a reluctant father but when it was thrust upon me by Jane's leaving I came to realise that actually being a father is the most rewarding job of all; even more so than serving one's country. I love my children." He puts a hand on her stomach. "All three of them."

"So we're going to do this then?" Ruth asks, smiling up at him.

"It would appear so," he agrees with a matching smile, before turning serious. "But you need to start taking care of yourself and that means eating three square meals a day, going home at a reasonable hour and getting a good night's sleep."

"I don't want special treatment Harry."

"Hard luck; you're getting it." Ruth doesn't get the opportunity to reply as at that moment a knock sounds on the office door. "Come in," Harry calls.

It's Jo and Zaf, returning with Ruth's food. "One sandwich; chicken salad; no cucumber or beetroot, a bag of salt and vinegar crisps, and a bottle of water," Jo announces handing her a plastic bag.

"And a Mars bar," adds Zaf.

"Yes," Jo confirms with a raised eyebrow. "Zaf was insistent you needed one of those."

"I've not eaten a Mars bar in years," she comments. "Thanks." Jo and Zaf assure her it was no bother before they return to work. "I'll eat this and then I'll go and get that threat assessment finished for the Home Secretary."

"I don't think so. The only place you're going is home."

"Harry I'm f-"

"You are not fine; you've just collapsed in the middle of the office. Once you've eaten that you're going home to bed."

"I am not going to bed at 3 in the afternoon; it's…uncivilised," she pouts.

"Well the sofa then," he offers as a compromise.

Ruth looks at him; he is determined and she knows he won't give in. Sighing, she reluctantly agrees. "Okay, but I'm coming back tomorrow."

They arrive at Harry's just after four, having taken a detour to Ruth's to leave some food out for Fidget and pick her up some more clothes. Catherine, eagle-eyed as ever, spots the cut on Ruth's forehead as soon as they enter the living room. "Ruth! What did you do to your head?"

"I fainted at work and banged it, but I'm okay."

Ruth makes herself comfortable on the sofa while Harry sees the nanny out, and Graham crawls up next to her. He tilts his head, regarding wound with interest.

"It sore?" he asks.

"A little, but it's better than it was."

"I know what'll make it better," Catherine suddenly declares before disappearing from the room.

Graham climbs up onto Ruth's knee and begins to tell of his escapades at nursery that morning and when Harry returns he finds his son very excitedly bouncing up and down on Ruth talking about a dinosaur egg.

"Graham, be careful with Ruth," Harry cautions. "Actually, maybe you should get down."

The little boy stops and looks between his father and Ruth. Ruth gives him a smile and says, "It's okay sweetheart." Satisfied, he cuddles into her to finish his story, and she begins stroking his back soothingly. It's not long before his eyelids are drooping. Harry sits next to them and sensing his gaze on her, Ruth turns to face him. "Really, it's fine. He wasn't hurting me."

"What about the..."

"Harry, I'm not 12 weeks yet; my uterus isn still below my pubic bone. He's not going to do any harm to the," she glances down at Graham and, even though he's dozing off, lowers her voice, "B-A-B-Y. I promise."

"I just worry, that's all."

Ruth takes Harry's hand. "I know, but you've got to stop. If anyone should be worried it's me; you've been through this twice before. For example, Jane must have had Catherine sit on her knee when…"

"Yes, I suppose she did. Sorry; it's been quite an afternoon."

"That's very true. Listen about telling the children, well, telling anyone really; I'd like to wait if that's okay? Just until I'm a bit further on."

"I think that's the right thing to do. For now it can be our secret."

Ruth kisses him and they become lost in each other for a moment, until Catherine thunders down the stairs. She walks into the living room, her arms piled with soft toys. She dumps them on the edge of the couch and begins to arrange them. Out of the pile she pulls a blanket and lays it over Ruth and, a now fast asleep, Graham.

"What's going on?" asks Harry, baffled by his daughter's behaviour.

"I brought Ruth some of my favourite teddies; the ones that make me feel better when I'm sick," explains Catherine.

As his daughter begins to explain to Ruth in great detail why each cuddly toy warrants its place on her list, Harry decides to make a quick exit and get on with preparing tea. With Catherine playing at being Ruth's personal nurse-maid, he knows he won't have to worry about her over exerting herself; she'll be lucky if Catherine lets her do anything at all!


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

_Sunday 6th June 1999..._

Five weeks later Harry, Ruth and the children are sat around her mother's dining room table, having finally accepted her invitation to visit. Jane has been inconsistent in her visits and Harry had decided that he wasn't going to live their lives around her anymore, so they went down to Cheltenham for the weekend. The purpose of their visit was so that they could tell Ruth's mother and step-father that she was pregnant.

She'd had her first scan the previous Wednesday and miraculously, there had been no pressing threats to national security so Harry had been able to attend without issue. Ruth had cried when she'd seen her baby on the screen for the first time. She wasn't normally an over-emotional person but Harry assured her it was perfectly acceptable to shed tears over the new life they'd created. Just so long as they were happy tears, which they had been.

They had decided to wait until the Sunday afternoon before they made their announcement, as they hadn't told Catherine and Graham yet, so they wanted to minimise the opportunities for the cat to be let out of the bag.

So, once the children have been excused from the table and have gone to play in the living room, Ruth raises her eyebrow at Harry in question, and he nods almost imperceptibly. Ruth looks across the table at her mother who has begun to clear away the dishes. She really isn't sure how her mother is going to take her news...as much as she likes Harry, Ruth suspects that she will think it too soon to be making such a big commitment.

"Mum," she begins, taking a breath. "Can you leave that for a moment please?" She reaches across the table and stills her with a hand on her arm.

Elizabeth takes one look at her daughter. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing wrong exactly. I just need to talk to you."

"Do you want me to leave?" asks David.

"No, not at all. You need to hear this too." She glances at Harry who gives her a reassuring smile. "Harry and I have news."

"You're not getting married?" she says, clearly not impressed by the idea.

"No. We're having a baby." There's a deafening silence around the table and Ruth suddenly feels very nervous. "Mum? Say something."

"I'm not quite sure what you want me to say?"

"Well congratulations is usually customary," Ruth replies.

"Yes of course. Congratulations. Sorry, it's just...well, I wasn't expecting this."

"Neither were we," Harry admits.

"Oh, so it wasn't planned then?"

"No," Ruth confirms. "But that doesn't mean we aren't happy about it."

"Well no, of course not. I didn't mean to imply that. It's just that you two haven't been together -"

"... For very long," Harry cuts in. "You're right, we haven't been in a relationship for very long but we plan to be. This isn't a decision we've taken lightly."

"Yes but-"

It's David who cuts in this time. "Come now, Elizabeth. Enough with the third degree; it's a happy occasion." He rises from his seat and approaches Ruth. "Congratulations sweetheart," he whispers as he gives her a hug before shaking Harry's hand. "I bet Catherine and Graham are excited aren't' they?"

"We haven't told them yet. We've been waiting until we knew everything was okay. We'll tell them tonight."

"I'm sure they'll be delighted, just like we are. Right, Lizzie?"

"Yes. Yes of course."

* * *

"Ruth's an amazing young woman," David says to Harry as the two enjoy a whisky in the conservatory.

"That she is," Harry replies, sensing where this conversation is headed. "I won't hurt her if that's what you're worried about?"

"I don't mean to interrogate you; Lizzie can do that well enough for both of us, but I wouldn't be doing my duty as Ruth's step-father if we didn't discuss the situation."

Harry takes it all in his stride. "Of course. Fire away."

"Do you love her?"

"More than I thought I could ever love anyone," Harry admits, a slight blush rising in his cheeks.

"That's good to know. So are you two planning on getting married?"

"We've talked about it in an abstract, sometime in the future kind of way, but I haven't asked her officially. And I'm not planning to at the moment." David is surprised by Harry's frankness and it shows on his face. Harry explains. "If I propose now, there's more than a good chance Ruth will think I'm doing it because of the baby and she won't want to base a marriage on that. She'll say no."

David considers this for a moment, and nods in agreement. "You're probably right. But things can't continue as they are once the baby is born; I mean you live on opposite sides of the City."

"Don't worry; I'm sure we'll work something out." Harry replies, more confident than he actually is. If he's honest, he hasn't given much thought to the practical side of things once the baby is born. It's only now that David has mentioned it that he realises things need to change.

* * *

Whilst Harry is being grilled by David, Ruth is getting her own lecture from her mother, while helping to load the dishwasher.

"I'm not saying it's a bad idea but you've been together what…seven months?"

"Just over, but by the time he or she arrives it'll have been more than a year."

"Oh, I forgot to ask before, when are you due?"

"Early December."

"So only just over a year then?"

"Mum, I love Harry and I'm happy with him; happier than I've ever been with anyone before. I plan on spending the rest of my life with him."

"I thought you said you weren't getting married."

"We're not…yet. Look that's not the point. The point is I want…no I need you to be happy for me. I'm having a baby; your first grandchild. Come on Mum."

"Oh Ruth, I am happy for you. Honestly I am. I just worry about you; it's all happening so quickly. You're not even thirty yet and you're going to be tied down with three children. You had such grand plans for yourself when you left university."

"I know, and I still do. They've just changed a little bit now; that's all. I know I don't really go all ga-ga over other people's children like some women, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be a mother. Meeting Harry and getting to know his children showed me how fulfilling life in that role could be. I'm not settling or selling myself short, Mum. I promise."

Elizabeth hugs her daughter. "Congratulations," she tells her a second time, but this time Ruth can tell she genuinely means it.

"I had my scan on Wednesday…would you like to see?"

Elizabeth nods enthusiastically as Ruth retrieves the ultrasound picture from her handbag. As her mother coos over the scan of her first grandchild Ruth breathes an internal sigh of relief that she seems to have come round. That's everyone told now, apart from Catey and Graham (and their work colleagues). Harry had told his father and brother over the phone the morning before they left for Cheltenham and while Ruth hadn't spoken to either of them personally, Harry assured her they were pleased. She had had a quick discussion with Lyn who had congratulated her and had seemed glad to have someone to swap pregnancy stories with. She'd spoken to Peter too and sworn him to secrecy.

The only worry left for Ruth is how Catey and Graham will take it. How they will handle another big change in their lives. It won't be long before she finds out though; she and Harry have agreed they will tell the children when they get home this evening.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: **Thank you for your patience – I know it's been a while. But hopefully you'll enjoy this latest offering.

* * *

**Chapter 26**

_Sunday 6th June 1999..._

Once they arrive home, Harry and Ruth sit the children down in the living room and ready themselves to tell them their news.

"What's going on?" Catey asks, aware of an underlying tension in the room

"Ruth and I need to talk to you," Harry explains and Catherine's face takes on a worried lilt.

Ruth is quick to reassure her though. "Don't worry; it's nothing bad. Well, at least we don't think it is."

Ruth looks to Harry and nods for him to begin. They've agreed he should take the lead as he is their father. "You know how Ruth's been my girlfriend for a while now?" he begins. He doesn't really like the term 'girlfriend'; he feels it's too high-school to describe their relationship, but he needs to keep it simple for the children. When Catherine and Graham nod, he continues. "Well… we're going to have a baby."

Catherine's eyes go wide at the thought of another younger sibling. "Really?" she gasps.

Her reaction relaxes Ruth and brings a smile to her face. "Yes," she confirms.

"How do you feel about that?" Harry asks.

"It's good," Catherine declares after a moment. "I like being a big sister."

Harry smiles at her. "Well, you're very good at it."

While Catherine beams at her father's praise, Ruth turns her attention to Graham, conscious that he hasn't yet passed comment. He is looking at Harry with an expression that Ruth finds difficult to define.

"Are you okay Graham?" she asks

"Why do you need a new baby? Yous got me and Catrin."

"It's what people do when they love each other, like Ruth and I do" Harry explains "They have a baby together."

"But I'm a baby!" he protests.

Catherine rolls her eyes at what she perceives as her brother's naivety. "But you're not Ruth's baby, are you?" she points out.

Graham does not appreciate his sister's attempts to placate him. "No!" he cries. "Me don't want a new baby! I's the baby!" He throws one of the sofa cushions on the floor in a rage as he begins to have a tantrum. Harry indicates for Ruth to leave him and Graham alone for a while, so she takes Catherine upstairs.

Harry waits until Graham's tantrum has subsided before speaking. "Are you finished?" he asks, his tone belying the fact that he doesn't appreciate his son's actions. With a sniffle, Graham nods lightly, "Good," Harry tells him, "Do you want to tell me why you threw that cushion?"

"Don't want a new baby," he pouts.

"Why?"

"I's the baby," he repeats.

Harry sighs and runs a hand through his curls; this could be a long evening.

* * *

While Harry tries to talk to Graham, Ruth supervises Catherine in the bath and helps her get ready for bed, whilst at the same time gently explaining why what she said to Graham had probably not helped the situation. Eventually she sees Ruth's point of view and apologises. The, once she is in her pyjamas, Ruth sits with her on her bed and they look at her reading book together. They don't get very far though as Catherine has questions.

"Ruth?"

"Yes?"

"When will the baby come?" she asks.

"Not for a few months yet; December," Ruth explains.

"Oh. After Auntie Lyn's baby then?

"Yes, a few months later."

Catherine pauses for a minute, thinking. "Is the baby in your tummy?" she asks.

"That's right. Would you like to feel?" Catherine nods, so Ruth takes her hand and places it on her still flat stomach.

"I don't feel anything," Catherine comments.

"Well the baby's only tiny at the moment, so you probably won't. But it is in there. I've seen it – the doctor took a picture."

"Can I see?"

"Of course; it's in my bag. Hang on."

Ruth leaves Catherine in her room and retrieves her ultrasound scan from her bag in the hallway. As she turns back towards the stairs, she hears Graham talking to Harry.

"When the new baby comes, you and Ruth won't love me."

His words bring tears to her eyes and despite Harry assertion that he would deal with the situation; she can't stop herself entering the living room. She stops at the door to listen as Harry tells Graham that that will never happen; that they both love him and that won't change.

"He's right Graham," she confirms, moving further into the room and eventually sitting next to the little boy.

"But you'll be the new baby's mummy..."

"Graham, it doesn't matter to me that you're not actually mine; I still love you like you like you are. You and your sister. And that won't change because I'm going to have another baby, I promise."

"I didn't love Catherine any less when you came along," Harry explains. From the look on Graham's face this is obviously something he hasn't considered. "I still love her just as much as I did before; and I love you both the same," Harry continues.

"Do you know Graham," adds Ruth, trying to explain it in simple terms that a child will understand, "that every time somebody has another baby their heart grows so they can give enough love to each of them."

"Weally?"

"Yeah!" adds Catherine enthusiastically as she enters the room; wanting to make amends for upsetting her brother earlier. She looks at Ruth, "You didn't come back, so I came to find you. Is that it?" she asks, excitedly, pointing to the photo Ruth is holding.

Ruth nods and hands it to Catherine.

"Wha's tha?" Graham asks.

"A photo of the baby inside my tummy. You can have a look if you want."

As Catherine and Harry, coo over the photo, Graham slowly makes his may way over to them and looks at the picture. Harry points out the baby's head and Graham begins to ask questions.

"It a boy?"

"We don't know yet," Harry explains.

"I don't want another brother. One's bad enough," Catherine quips.

Ruth chuckles, "Unfortunately, we don't get a choice. We get whatever we're given."

Graham returns to Ruth and sits beside her. He reaches out his tiny hand and points at her stomach. "The baby's in your tummy?" he clarifies.

"Yes."

He furrows his brow. "Did you eat it?"

Harry guffaws at his son's question and Ruth chuckles, as she tells him, "No, I didn't eat it?"

Graham is confused. "But you said it was in your tummy."

"Well, it's in a special place, which is near my tummy, just…here," she explains, taking his hand and placing it.

"How it get there then?" Graham asks, confused.

Ruth and Harry share a look; how do they explain this. Suddenly, Harry has a brainwave. "I put it there," he tells him. While Graham seems content with Harry's explanation, Catherine is not; the cogs in her brain are turning, as if she is putting several pieces of a jigsaw together. "Is that what sex is?" she blurts out.

Harry's jaw drops at Catherine words, and Ruth struggles not to laugh out loud at his reaction. "Who told you that word?"

"Molly," Catherine answers. Molly is one of her best friends at school. "She says that's what Mummies and Daddies do in bed and that's how you get babies. Is that true Daddy? Is that what you and Ruth do?"

As Harry flounders to come up with a response, his mouth opening and closing several times, Ruth can take it no longer. Dying to laugh, she swiftly picks up Graham. "Time for your bath I think," she says, before taking him upstairs and leaving Harry to explain the birds and the bees to his seven year old daughter.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** You will recognise some of the dialogue in this chapter… I'm taking one of the storylines and changing it slightly to fit with my alternate universe. Anything you do recognise belongs to Kudos/BBC.

* * *

**Chapter 27**

_Tuesday 14__th__ July 1999…_

The Grid is a hive of activity; a bomb has gone off in central London killing 17 people and injuring dozens more. A group called Shining Dawn have taken responsibility and have given them a deadline of 10 hours to release their leader, Michael Munroe, or they will detonate another bomb.

Exciting the briefing room after a meeting with some agents from the CIA, Adam calls over to Ruth. "Ruth, there's a car waiting for you downstairs."

"Why? Where am I going?" she asks striding to keep up with him. Harry hadn't mentioned anything about her going off the Grid. For him to authorise it astounds her; he's still very overprotective."

"New Scotland Yard. You're familiar with the work of Professor Stephen Curtis?"

"Yes. He wrote 'The Future Does Not Need Us'. He thinks that humanity as a species is coming to an end."

"Making him something of a guru for Shining Dawn. Special Branch have brought him in and are holding him for us. Munroe worships him, we think they might have even met. I'm guessing brains will beat brawn in finding out if this is the case and where the meeting took place."

"But what… what…"

"Sorry Ruth, there's no time for strategy briefings, you'll have to use your natural cunning to prise out whatever you think he knows. Colin! Where's that CCTV footage?"

Ruth stands bewildered for a moment, before realising she must get on. She hurries to her station and begins gathering her things. As she does so the pods open and through them steps a tall, glamorous woman.

"Hello Harry," she calls, making a beeline for him. Ruth watches her approach surreptitiously from behind her screen.

Harry stares at the woman standing before him. "Juliet." At the mention of the name, nervous butterflies take up residence in Ruth's stomach. This was the woman he'd had an affair with while he was with Jane. "You're supposed to be in Washington," Harry continues.

"I'm back," she states. "Given the nature of the threat it was felt I could help out."

Harr is clearly not impressed. "Felt? By whom?"

"The DG I assume." Ruth watches aghast as Juliet leans and lowers her voice. "Commiserations by the way on not making the post."

"I'm learning to live with the disappointment." Harry replies.

"Well you're used to that I suppose."

Ruth feels her blood boiling at not only this woman's presence on the Grid but the way she looks at and talks to Harry. She looks at her watch; she has to go, but she doesn't want to leave without saying goodbye to Harry. Gingerly she approaches Harry, her coat held infront of her now slightly swollen stomach.

Juliet notices her first. "Yes, what is it?"

Harry glowers at Juliet, before offering Ruth a small smile.

"I'm just off to New Scotland Yard," she tells him. "See if Professor Curtis feels like talking."

"You know I'm not entirely happy about this, but there was no one else."

"It's fine Harry. I'll see you later?"

He nods. "I'll be here, which reminds me; I'd better ring Claire; it's bound to be an overnighter."

"I can do it," she offers. "You've got enough to deal with."

"Thanks. You take care, yes?"

"It's hardly Peru," she comments.

"I know. But well, I worry." He leans down to peck her on the cheek. She's normally averse to public displays of affection at work but the presence of Juliet has changed her mind. She suddenly feels very possessive over Harry.

"Bye," she whispers as he pulls away before making her way to the pods.

"Well, that's interesting," comments Juliet, watching Ruth walk away. "I have to say she's not your usual type Harry."

"You are not needed here," Harry tells her, changing the subject.

"Really?" replies Juliet. "Because as I understand it, a death-cult you know virtually nothing about is almost certain to detonate another massive bomb in a matter of hours."

"Which is why we need no further complications," Harry protests. "Adam?!"

* * *

It's been a shock to see Juliet again; Harry had though they'd simply continue to observe each other's careers at a distance. He looks at her, the birdlike quality of her face as softened somewhat and she's gained a few lines around her eyes. Her suits are more expensive; she's elegant where she was once pretty. But she's still the same Juliet: bossy, driven, ambitious and bloody sexy. He can't lie he still finds her attractive, but he has no desire to jump back into her bed; not when he's got Ruth. He supposes that's testament to how much stronger his current relationship is than his marriage was. He loves Ruth; far more than he loved Jane and he's not going to do anything to put that in jeopardy.

"I wondered when you might like a little chat," Harry says as he meets Juliet on the fire escape.

"Yeh it's been a long time; 7 years now. A different era back then."

"The battle lines were a little clearer. Although I still wonder about some of our actions."

"I think we did rather well." Harry isn't convinced. "Don't tell me you didn't have fun in Paris. When you weren't worried about your wife finding out." She smiles at him and tucks her hair behind her ear.

Harry is uncomfortable with the direction in which this conversation is headed. "Why are you here, Juliet? What do you want?"

"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm in line for the job of National Security Co-ordinator."

"Over my dead body." Harry does not want her around for any longer than she has to be.

"And I thought this would be a great opportunity to show that I still have what it takes at an operational level. Though I'm a little tired of taking orders from Adam Carter."

"He's the best there is."

"He's alright, in a one man and his dog sort of a way. Usually gets the sheep doing what you want. It's a pity the old shepherd's looking a bit tired." She reaches up to touch his face. "Have you been losing too many members of your flock."

"Don't push your luck Juliet."

"You used to be really good, I'll give you that. I was too but I lacked something that you had."

"Integrity," Harry comments, turning to lean his back against the railings.

"I was thinking more of the XY chromosome combination."

He can't resist a little joke. "Oh those old chestnuts."

As he chuckles to himself, Juliet continues. "You will recommend me for the post when they consult you."

"Of course I will."

"And you'll have all my clearance restrictions removed on the Grid so I have the same authorities as Adam Carter."

"Consider it done." He pauses for a moment. "Anything else before I call security and have you escorted from the building?" he threatens.

It's Juliet's turn to threaten now. "Or I might start remembering things from the past you'd rather didn't resurface. 'Oh love, love careless love', Harry" she quotes. "Makes you say things you shouldn't." Harry glares at her. "I'm sure you'll come round to my way of thinking Harry and when you do, well," she runs her hand down his tie suggestively, "maybe we can pick up where we left off in Paris. I'm sure I can give you more than your latest squeeze." She pecks him on the cheek then, lingering longer than is professional or platonic.

Ruth, back from her interrogation of Professor Curtis, feels the bile rising in her throat as she watches their exchange from the doorway. Seeing another woman touch Harry in that way makes her feel sick to her stomach. Unable to watch anymore of the scene unfold, she turns and heads back inside before she is noticed.

* * *

**A/N:** *ducks flying objects* I'm sorry – please don't hate me!


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

_Tuesday 14__th__ July 1999…_

"Good work with Professor Curtis," Harry praises Ruth as he walks past her desk. They have apprehended the suspect and the professor is now at Thames House, waiting to help with the interviews should he be needed.

"I need to talk to you," she says, standing up. "Now." She walks to his office, leaving him to follow.

"What is it?" Harry asks, entering behind her.

"Shut the door," Ruth demands.

Harry isn't used to her tone and is instantly on alert. "Ruth? What's going on?"

"I should be asking you that," she replies curtly.

"Pardon? Is it something to do with the operation? Have we found something on-"

"Shut the door," she repeats. He does as she asks and turns back to her. "I saw you," she tells him. Harry stops speaking and looks blankly at her; he's no idea what she's talking about.

"Saw me where?"

"With Juliet. On the fire escape."

Realisation dawns on Harry's face. Juliet was hardly subtle about her intentions towards him and if Ruth witnessed that it's understandable that she would be upset. But she knows he would never cheat on her. Surely. "What exactly do you think you saw?" he asks, needing to know what he is dealing with.

"I know exactly what I saw. She kissed you."

"Yes; _she_ kissed _me_… on the cheek might I add? It was nothing," Harry tells her.

"It didn't look like nothing; certainly not for her."

"Ruth, I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to tell me you're not going to 'pick up where you left off in Paris'," she says, quoting Juliet's words.

"Ruth I-" The door opens and Zaf bursts in. "Not now!" Harry growls, loud enough to make Zaf jump.

"Sorry Harry but the Home Secretary is demanding to see you. Now."

He looks to Ruth, regret flashing deep in his eyes. "I need to go Ruth. We'll talk about this later, okay?"

She doesn't reply, instead she storms passed him, leaving Zaf wondering what the hell he'd interrupted.

* * *

Ruth is sat behind her desk and Juliet approaches her, half an hour later. "Hi, we've not been properly introduced," she says extending her hand. "I'm-"

Ruth doesn't take her proffered hand. "Juliet Shaw. I know."

"Oh so you've looked into me?" she says, smug at the fact that she's seemingly rattled Ruth

"No. Harry told me. I know all about you and him; about what happened in Paris."

"Oh." The smug smile is gone.

Ruth takes the opportunity to stand, revealing her pregnancy to Juliet for the first time. Her eyes go wide. Ruth speaks confidently; more confidently that she feels. "Harry and I are very happy. And I can assure you that there will be no repeat of what happened in Paris. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," replies Juliet, stalking off.

Ruth sits back down at her desk, her hands shaking. Once she calms down, she can't quite believe that she did that.

* * *

_Wednesday 15__th__ July 1999…_

"Had an interesting chat with your little girlfriend yesterday," Juliet tells Harry once the operation is over. They're back on the fire escape at her behest, but Harry is taping the entire conversation for insurance. He doesn't trust Juliet as far as he can throw her; not anymore. There's no telling what lies she may spin to Ruth.

"So I believe." In the few minutes they'd managed to grab together during the operation, Ruth had told him that Juliet had approached her and she was now aware of her pregnancy but she hadn't told him exactly what had been said. But Adam, who'd admitted to a little covert eavesdropping, had told him Ruth was magnificent as usual.

"You've knocked her up," she comments.

Harry grimaces at the crude expression. "We're having a baby together, yes."

"It wasn't that many years ago that you were complaining to me that Jane was pregnant. That you weren't ready to be a father."

"Things change," he remarks, thinking about he himself has changed since he was last with Juliet. He's come a long way and there's no doubt in his mind that he's a better man than he was then. He isn't going to put that in jeopardy.

"Has she trapped you?" Juliet asks. "Poor deluded little creature, thinking you're in love with her."

"I am in love with her!" Harry growls, his anger building at hearing Juliet mock Ruth in that way. "I feel more for her than I ever did for Jane or you! Do you know why that is? Because she is ten times you and Jane put together. She is part of my life Juliet and important part. She is also part of my team. You'd do well to remember how far I go to protect those I care about." He storms off, having had enough of Juliet for one day.

"You get her to show me some respect Harry," Juliet calls after him. "Or I could make things very difficult for you."

* * *

Ruth opens the front door to Harry's house the following afternoon and Harry follows her in, Tesco bags in hand. "So you're saying I should have ignored her? Just let her flounce around like she owned the place?"

"No I'm saying you should have discussed it with me before saying anything to her. You've riled her and as the Prime Minister has just appointed her National Security Advisor, you could have made things very difficult for both of us."

"He's done what?" She shakes her head. "No, that's not the point here. The point is, I tried to discuss it with you but you had to run off to see the Home Secretary. It was clear where your priorities lay." She knows she's being unfair but she can't stop.

Harry tries not to overreact; he's never seen Ruth like this before so it's clear to him that the chances are it's her hormones causing it. "Ruth we were in the middle of a national emergency; what else could I have done?"

"Told him to wait?"

"He's the Home Secretary!"

"I'm sure he'd cope-"

Ruth is cut off by the living room door opening and closing. Claire approaches them. "Hey…" Harry and Ruth take one look at her worried facial expression and know that their day is about to get worse.

"What is it?" Harry asks.

"There's someone here," Claire replies vaguely.

"Someone?" Ruth asks, not in the mood for games.

"A social worker."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

_Previously..._

"_There's someone here," Claire replies vaguely. _

"_Someone?" Ruth asks, not in the mood for games. _

"_A social worker."_

* * *

"What?"

"She says she's here about custody of the children."

Ruth looks at her watch, it's only half past two; at least the children aren't here at the moment.

Harry and Ruth share a look, before heading towards the living room. Ruth gestures to the shopping bags on the floor, "Would you mind putting this lot away?"

"Not at all."

Ruth flashes her a smile and follows Harry. As they enter, a blond woman of about forty stands and offers her hand. "My Pearce? I'm Hayley Southern from the Child and Family Court Advisory and Support Service. I'm sorry to call in unannounced like this, but I have left several messages at your place of employment and you haven't returned my calls."

Ruth looks at Harry and he wracks his brain; he hasn't seen those messages and he would be dealing with whoever had taken them on his return to work tomorrow. He's taken aback by this woman; wrong footed. He had been told that he would probably hear from these people after the preliminary hearing a couple of months back, when the judge had ruled that the children should stay with him temporarily until the whole issue was resolved. But for her to turn up out of the blue, makes him feel at a disadvantage. "I must apologise, it seems that whoever took your calls has failed to pass on any messages. Perhaps it would be best if I give you my mobile number for future reference."

"That would be great," Hayley says and jots down the number Harry recites.

Spotting Ruth still hovering by the door he beckons her to him. "Miss Southern, this is my partner Ruth Evershed."

The two women greet each other and shake hands before sitting down. "Now Mr Pearce, I just need to clarify some facts with you and ask a couple of questions. I believe you have been caring for your two children, Catherine and Graham on your own, is that right?

"Yes, ever since their mother walked out."

"When was that exactly?"

"April 1997."

"And how much contact has their mother had with them in that time."

"They didn't see her until she turned up on the doorstep out of the blue back in March, so nearly two years without a word." Ruth can feel Harry's anger building up, as it always does when he thinks about the way Jane had treated the children, so she reaches for his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"And how much contact have they had with her since then?" Her tone is slightly accusatory, as if she believes that Harry is somehow responsible for what happened.

Harry shrugs in response. Her tone has made him suddenly uncooperative. He feels as if he's on trial; how dare this woman come into his home and start questioning him. Seeing where this could lead if it were to continue, Ruth steps in to answer.

"Harry agreed to let Jane see the children once a week; Sunday afternoons to start with."

"And where did those visits take place?"

"She would come here. Harry was concerned… well we both were… You see… the thing is, Graham didn't even remember her, he had no clue who she was and he's very shy so he didn't always settle well when she was here so we felt it best for the visits to be here at first."

"Of course," says Hayley offering a small smile; it appears that Ruth has won her over. "And have these visits continued in that pattern."

"Have they hell!" Harry scoffs. Ruth glares at him. "Sorry," he replies.

"That's quite alright, Mr Pearce. I understand these situations can be quite emotive."

"She saw them every week for about two months. Then one Sunday she didn't turn up. No phone call or anything to say she wasn't coming, she just didn't appear."

This appears to be new information to Hayley. "When was this?"

Harry looks at Ruth, her penchant for remembering dates is better than his. "End of April/beginning of May," she says. "I remember as I was out for lunch with my parents for my birthday."

"Did she offer any explanation as to why she didn't attend for contact?"

"She said she was in a 'dark place' and was unable to come."

Hayley scribbles on her pad. "And what have her visits been like since then?"

"Inconsistent," Harry replies. "I think she's been to see them three or four times."

"How do you feel the children coping?"

"They're resilient; they've had to be, but when they expect her and she doesn't turn up, it's hard. That first time Catherine went to pieces. She loved having her Mum back in her life and it hurt her. Graham still hasn't really bonded with her; he's just resigned to the fact that he's got to spend time with her, if a three year old can feel resignation that is."

Hayley furiously jots down some more notes. "I will need to arrange a time to speak with the children; to assess them and get their opinions on a few things."

Before either Harry or Ruth can reply, there is a soft knock on the door. "Come in," calls Harry, knowing that Claire wouldn't bother them unless it was something important. She pops her head round the door. "I'm just going to pick the children up," she tells them.

Harry rises from the sofa. "Could you take them to the park for a bit?"

"Of course, no problem."

Harry takes a ten pound note out of his wallet. "Here, for an ice cream and a drink for all of you."

"Thanks. See you later."

Harry returns to his seat. "Sorry about that."

"Not a problem. She seems lovely."

"The children like her and I… we trust her."

"Does she live in?"

"No, but she spends full days here. She's taking an Open University course so she uses the time when the children aren't here to study; it's quieter than her parents place. She's always willing to stay over if she's needed but one of us tries to be home most nights."

A few more strokes with the pen. "Can I ask about your relationship?" she enquires, gesturing between them with her hand.

"What would you like to know?" Harry asks

"How long have you been together?"

"Since October last year, so just about seven months," Harry replies.

"But we were good friends for a year before that," Ruth adds.

Hayley looks at her and then down to the slight swell of her stomach. "And you're having a baby?"

"Yes, in December." Ruth's face lights up as she talks about her pregnancy.

"How do the children feel about that?"

"They're quite excited now. Graham was a bit unsure at first – didn't want to be usurped as the baby of the family but he's okay now."

"Can I just clarify, do you live here?" she asks Ruth. "Only I have down that it's just Harry and the children as sole occupants of the property.

"Not officially; I still have my own house but I'm here more than I am there," she admits.

"Are you planning on your living arrangements becoming more formal anytime soon?" Hayley asks.

"We've been thinking about it," Harry tells her. It's not a lie; it's been mentioned in passing a few times but no decisions have been made. Ruth has been a little reluctant to make that final jump, knowing that once she sells her house she'll have nowhere to go should things not work out. Not that she expects them to fail; it's just one of her silly, irrational fears.

"Will it affect the custody decision?" Ruth asks.

"I can't say for sure, but what I can tell you is that courts do tend to look more favourably on stable two 'parent' households," Hayley says. Ruth nods, the cogs whirring in her brain. It's one thing not to move in because of her own fears, but if those fears mean Harry could lose the children…

"I think that's all for now," Hayley declares, shutting her folder and interrupting Ruth's train of thought. "I'll call, on your mobile, to arrange a time to speak with the children. I may want to do some observations of the children with both yourselves and Jane before I file my report. Once that report is filed, the court can make their decision."

"How long will that take?" Harry asks,

"I hope to get my report finished within the month. Then, it can be anything from a few weeks to six months. It can be a bit of a waiting game I'm afraid." Hayley stands. "Well thank you for your time. I'll be in touch." She moves to leave and Harry shows her out. When he returns Ruth stands and wraps her arms around him.

"You okay?" she asks.

He sighs. "Yeah. I just didn't need this on top of everything else today."

"I know. I'm sorry… for overreacting about Juliet and the Home Secretary and… well everything really. Can I blame it on my hormones?"

He smiles. "I suppose so," he tells her, kissing her head.

She pulls back and looks at him. "Am I forgiven?"

"Of course," he says with a smile.

"Good, because I think we need to talk about me putting my house on the market."


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: **A little bit of a shorter chapter – and a cliff-hanger (sorry!).

**Chapter 30**

_Sunday 9__th__ August 1999…_

Ruth moves in the following weekend, much to Catherine and Graham's delight and they settle down to family life very quickly. Their visit from the social worker goes well and a week later Hayley returns to watch Jane with the children on one of her visits. Jane is due at one o'clock, as usual but Hayley arrives at half past twelve to spend some time chatting with both Catherine and Graham about, amongst other things, their living arrangements.

They are happy to chat to her and are open about their views. They both express delight that Ruth is living with them now and are looking forward to the birth of their new brother or sister. They show her the latest scan picture, which has pride of place on the mantelpiece, and Catherine bemoans the fact that her father and Ruth had refused to find out if it was a boy or a girl.

One o'clock comes and goes but Jane does not arrive. Harry and Ruth bring drinks through for everyone and Hayley, satisfied that she has heard enough from the children, allows them to remain in the room, her confidential chat over. The children continue playing and chatting to Hayley who, along with Harry, frequently checks the time. She is not impressed by Jane's tardiness.

Time drags on and still Jane does not appear. Catherine, who can now tell the time quite well, turns and looks at the clock on the wall. It's 1.45. She knows her mother had been due at one. She looks back to her Dad. "She's not coming is she?" Her voice is resigned, defeated and Harry thinks it's more haunting than when she would cry and scream; at least then she was showing some emotion.

"She said she would be," Harry replies honestly. In fact, when he'd spoken to Jane not two days previously she had assured him several times that she would be there.

"But she was supposed to be here at one," reminds Catherine. Graham continues to play with his train; oblivious to the goings on around him.

"I'll go and ring her and see if she's been held up, shall I?"

Catherine shrugs her shoulders in non-committal gesture. She's stopped getting excited about her mother's planned visits because more often than not she ends up feeling disappointed when she doesn't show. On the occasions when Jane does turn up she is often distracted and disinterested in her and her brother.

Harry phones Jane but there's no answer. "It appears you have had a wasted journey," he tells Hayley apologetically when he returns.

"I wouldn't say that Mr Pearce; I've had a lovely chat with Catherine and Graham. Shall we give it a few more minutes anyway. Say till two o'clock?"

Harry nods. "If you wish." Part of him wants to sound smug and crow over the fact that she's not arrived and that shows she's a bad mother, but as he looks at Catherine he can't bring himself too; he can't act all triumphant when she's being adversely affected by it all.

When 2 o'clock comes and there's still no sign of Jane, Hayley beckons Harry and Ruth into the hallway. "I think it safe to say she won't be coming," she tells them quietly. "So I think I'll be off." Harry nods gravely and Ruth excuses herself to go back to the children. "You should be happy Mr Pearce, this won't look good for Jane when it comes to the hearing."

"I may think that Jane is an unfit mother and I don't want her to get custody, but I can't be happy about her treating the children like this; they've done nothing to deserve it and I hate seeing them like this."

"You're a good man Mr Pearce, and a good father. I'll be recommending to the judge that you are awarded permanent and sole custody of the children."

A small sigh of relief escapes Harry and Hayley smiles. "It's not 100 per cent guaranteed that he'll agree but you've got a good shot." She shakes his hand. "I'll be in touch about the date of the custody hearing."

But the case never makes it as far as family court. Two days later Harry receives a call that rocks both his and the children's world. Jane is dead.


End file.
